A few weeks ago, I had breakfast with a wonderful friend. Actually, it was a double date. Keith and I on one side of the table with Carolyn and Bob on the other.
As we sat across from one another, enjoying our eggs and toast, Carolyn began to share with us the amazing gifts she’d discovered since being diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer.
She’d already begun losing hearing in her left ear and learned from her doctor that, post surgery, all of her hearing in that ear would be lost.
“But so many great things have come from this,” she told us while smiling.
She’d gone to church for the first time in many years. She and Jeff had grown close to several couples there and enjoying time with them brought a sense of comfort and community.
“She’s been talking to her sister,” Jeff interjected. ”They actually have a relationship again,” he said proudly. ”I’m Carolyn’s ‘gift seeker’. I look for the gifts in everything that’s going on to help her through this time of change.”
The moment he said that, I gave Keith’s leg -where my hand had been resting- a little bit of a squeeze. ”I love that! You’re her gift seeker.” Then I immediately turned inward, as I usually do, and thought, Am I a gift seeker for Keith?
When he’s having a challenging day at work, can he always count on me to look for the gifts in it all? Rather than trying to help him solve the problem or come up with a solution, why not make it my mission to look for the gifts in the situation to help turn his day around as quickly as possible?
As Jeff continued listing many of the gifts they’d discovered throughout this trial, I realized, Carolyn was in the best place I’d ever known her to be and I’ve known her for close to 10 years. Her spirit radiated gratefulness. Her heart was at peace. And she got there, in part, because Bob determined from the offset of her diagnoses that he would seek out -and find- every gift there was to be found in Carolyn’s life. And he would continue to remind her of these things daily.
Could I call myself a “gift seeker” for Keith at that moment when I was inspecting my heart over breakfast that Saturday morning? Maybe. But I knew I wasn’t intentional about it. I’m working on that now and if you ask me about this in a month, I hope to proudly declare, “Yes, I am my husband’s gift seeker!”
YOUR TURN: Are you a gift seeker for your husband?
Until Monday…make it a great weekend!
THE BOOK It’s been described as “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book. I traveled to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to figure out what makes marriages happy. It’s a marriage book line none other. I guarantee it.
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