"There comes a time when a man and woman realize that their separate schemes can be better achieved as a conspiracy." -Robert Brault
When I hear the above quote, I immediately think of former US president Bill Clinton and his wife, our current Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. I remember meeting both of them in the final year of his presidency and found the dynamic of their relationship to be quite interesting. Almost polar opposites in terms of personality, warmth, and overall disposition.
My sister hosted a dinner event for the president one evening at her home. The following morning, she hosted a brunch for his wife. I vaguely remember the smaller scale brunch but I do remember the fundraising dinner quite well. And how could I forget? My sister lived in a gated community filled with members of the opposing political party. When they learned the city would need to close off one of the entrance gates, they just about had a conniption fit.
Her neighbors were mad at her...almost all of them.
The Man in the Cowboy Boots
But something changed when the news reported the presidential convoy was on its way to their city. When he pulled into the community, there were scores and scores of people lining the street clapping and cheering. Like a scene from a movie, he had his motorcade pull over so he could get out and shake hands. He must have stayed down there for 15-20 minutes shaking hands while security kept updating us via walkie talkies.
Once he finally arrived at the house, he said hello to the 100 or so paid guests waiting for him in the living room. But then excused himself and went to the other side of the house where he sat chatting with my teenage niece and nephew about school, why they didn't like specific subjects, homework, etc, for what seemed like an hour (much to the dismay of his staff). In his trademark style, he sat with his right foot atop his left knee showing off his western boots. I know everyone who meets him tends to say the same thing but I also found it to be true in the few times I met him. He comes across as just a regular guy...and he remembers EVERYONE (still don't know how he manages to do that).
Presidential Legacies
In 1992, as the governor of Arkansas and running for president, I remember Clinton telling voters they'd be getting two presidents "for the price of one." And although we didn't know it at the time, we'd later learn we also got two presidents when we voted for Ronald Reagan. After presidential scholars began methodically going through Reagan's presidential papers, it became clear his wife, Nancy, was a huge part of his presidential legacy.
It's now widely accepted among historians that she helped shape his now-lauded and history-making Cold War policy and had much to do with his famed, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" It's said when President Reagan's own political party turned against him, she was his one true confidant, supporter, partner and friend in the White House.
Although we are clearly not the Clintons or Reagans, I can't help but relate to both of these couples because Keith and I operate in a very similar way: you get "two for the price of one."
Two For the Price of One
Keith is a brilliant strategist. One of the wisest men I know; well beyond his 40 years of living. I've met few people as well-rounded as my husband. And I've never met a person who intently looks so far into the future, to weigh every side of an issue, in order to determine the best steps forward from today.
I am an action-oriented person. No grass grows under my feet...ever. Give me the strategy and I'll implement it...meticulously. I'm an organizational nut and a perfectionist to a fault. Unlike Keith, I don't like ruminating over something for too long. I'm the person at the beginning of the marathon saying, "Enough warming up already" and fires off the gun for the race to begin.
Keith is also one of the best negotiators I know and his ability to bring everyone to the table to figure out a way to work together and resolve differences is something magical. He says I'm a better negotiator than him but that's not true. We just have two completely different styles. I'm known to say, "Give me your best offer and I'll give you mine. If you don't give me your best offer, I'm going to walk away because I'll know." I always come to the table prepared to walk away which generally allows me to get everyone's best offer from the offset. His style is completely different but just as effective.
In certain countries, my negotiating style will never be effective. For instance, in Israel it is expected that you'll go back-and-forth to negotiate down the price of a purchase. That stuff drives me nuts but Keith just takes it in stride. When we're going into any sort of negotiation, we'll assess which of our negotiating styles will likely yield the best result in that particular situation, and we proceed accordingly.
Marriage = Tag Team Partnership
In most instances, my strengths are his weaknesses and his strengths are where I most need growth. But we use this to our advantage. We are partners in every since of the word. In my professional life, I look for his input with all major decisions. I don't need to ask his advice, but I respect his thoughts, opinions and wisdom more than anyone else. He certainly doesn't need my advice or opinions when mulling over various decisions, but he always asks for it.
As the Robert Brault quote goes, we determined long ago that we could get twice as far if we helped propel each other there. I truly have the best of both worlds: a partner in business, a partner at home, and the best friend a woman could ever desire (and did I mention, a great lover).
So here's my question for you. Do you have a dream in life which seems out of reach? It doesn't need to be something in business. Even something personal or with your children. Try partnering with your spouse to get it done. Sometimes as women, especially strong and independent women, we want to do everything on our own. We feel as though the accomplishments may not be the same if our spouse helps us. But that is not the case at all. You can get twice as far in half the amount of time if you would simply learn to partner instead of going at it alone.
Your strengths are likely not your husband's strengths and vice versa. But both of your strengths combined are a force to be reckoned with... At least that's the case in the Weaver household. What about yours?
Until tomorrow...make it a great day!
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