February 14, 2010
THE PLATINUM RULE
It is a well known fact that Will Smith is currently the most ‘bankable’ movie star in the world. The term ‘bankable’ is used in the movie industry when referencing a person – actor, producer, director, etc – who can guarantee success in the box office. No one does this better than this actor. In the 16 movies released since his career took off 15 years ago, only two have not performed well.
What’s astonishing about Will Smith’s career is on the surface you might attribute his success to his infectious personality and kindness. But those within the entertainment industry know him as both those things but more importantly, unequivocally driven. He is the only actor in history to have 8 consecutive films gross over $100 million and he’s also had 8 consecutive #1 box office spots. His movies have grossed over $5.77 billion worldwide with an average gross of $124 million per movie. This young actor continues to hold the record for highest average gross per film – in history - in the world.
So what does Will Smith have to do with marriage you may be asking? Both nothing and absolutely everything. Will has acted in movies of nearly every genre – romance, comedy, drama and sci-fi – and has succeeded in every single category. What is his secret to success? Well, it’s not much of a secret because he's shared it with nearly every interviewer who has posed that question to him: He has no plan B.
Early in life, his father taught him a valuable lesson: “Have no plan B. It distracts from plan A.” These words of wisdom have guided him through every aspect of his career and brought him to where he is today. This philosophy has allowed him to stay completely focused on his goal of success and he keeps this goal in sight at all times. In a Time Magazine article a few years ago, he said, “…even contemplating a Plan B, you almost create the necessity for a Plan B.”
I’ve interviewed many wives over the years and have discovered a common denominator among those with the most loving, kind and patient relationships. They have no plan B. No matter what, divorce or infidelity is not an option. For this reason, arguments are few, if any, because they know they have a lifetime to come to an agreement. A ‘meeting of the minds’ need not occur in every conversation because they know they have time to work it out. During tough times, they both dig their heels in the sand and commit to work through it together. They believe all things will work out in the end, as long as they are willing to give their all to the relationship. Forgiveness is par for the course, ego is thrown to the wind and complete dedication and surrender – on the part of both wife and husband – is strived for unceasingly.
If Plan A is a happy, healthy and successful marriage and we remain laser beam focused on it, we will invest all the time necessary to ensure its success. Nothing and no one will be able to come between us and our husband or cause us to waiver in our determination because failure is not an option. Alternatively, when we have a plan B in the back of our mind, we subconsciously give less of our heart, soul and effort into our marriage. We won’t pour every ounce of our being into this relationship that was meant to last a lifetime.
There are many “secrets of success” when it comes to love and marriage. But at the top of the list must be having no back-up or “just in case” plans. When we stand before God, family and friends and pledge ‘til death do us part’ we are making a solid commitment to each other until the end of time.
If the golden rule for wives is treating our husband the way we would like to be treated, then the platinum rule must be to have No Plan B. And the reason is simple: It distracts from Plan A.