Spending the last two months interviewing women around the world who have been happily married 25 years or more has been eye-opening to say the least. As I suspected, these women all have so much in common. The happy wives in South Africa are just like those in the Philippines and those in the Philippines are so similar to those in New Zealand and so on.
I learned more throughout these interviews than I ever thought possible and decided I wanted to return to the States and work toward becoming an even better wife.
I thought I was a great wife. Not a perfect wife but a pretty fantastic one. My husband loves, respects and adores me and would do anything for me so I was pretty confident I was a pretty awesome wife. Not to mention, I have a club that’s all about happily married women (of which, I am proud to be a member).
So imagine my surprise (and momentary dismay) when I recently asked Keith, “If you graded me as a wife on a scale of 1-to-10, with 10 being highest what would I score?”
He began comparing me to wives we knew, “Compared to so-and-so you’re 100. And compared to so-and-so, you’re definitely a 100 on a scale of 1-to-10!” As great as that felt, that wasn’t my question. “I only want you to compare me against me. The wife I am now compared to the wife I have the potential to be.” He gave me a 7. Well, that was humbling.
“Honey, you asked me to compare you now against your potential; against a perfect Fawn,” he said. If I gave you a 9 or a 10, you’d be a hot mess and wouldn’t be motivated to keep improving.” He’s probably right. “So when I’ve made the 6 improvements you’ve given me –the list you sent while I was in Australia- will that bring me to an 8?” I inquired grasping for a way to quickly improve my sub par score. “At the very least an 8.” I can handle that.
On Monday, I’ll share with you the list of 6 improvements Keith gave me on helping become a better wife and person and the reason it was he gave me the list (here’s a hint: I asked for it).
Question: Have you ever asked your husband to score his happiness as a husband or to score you (on a scale of 1-to-10) as a wife?
Until Monday…make it a great weekend!
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