This funny scene from Daddy Day Care (the first movie Keith and I saw together while dating ) was the first thing that came to mind the other night after Keith and I took the Love Language assessment test based on the book, The 5 Love Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman. Although this book has been #1 on the New York Times Bestsellers List for more weeks over the past few years than I can count, for some reason, I never felt compelled to purchase it. Maybe I thought it was a bunch of hype because it was so popular.
That was until a week ago when I asked the readers of this Club to share the one book that has influenced your marriage the most and nearly 90% of you stated this book. That was all I needed to convince me this book should make its way onto my bookshelf (after being read, of course). But before the book arrived, I decided it would be fun for Keith and I to take the online assessment test.
Previously, we’d self diagnosed our love languages based on a synopsis of the book. We determined we both spoke the same love language, Physical Touch. And if you read my blog post from Friday, you know I diagnosed myself pretty well because on a scale of 0-to-12, I was an 11 in this category. Unfortunately, my diagnosing of Keith’s love language wasn’t nearly as precise.
He and I both guessed his love language was also physical touch. And really, for what man is it not? Or so I thought… Imagine my surprise when he took the test and on a scale of 0-to-12 his score for Physical Touch was an 5. His love language is: Words of Affirmation.
How could I have missed that? For 8 1/2 years I’ve missed this. It was actually quite plain to see. At least once a week when I’d say, “I love you,” he’d follow that up with, “Why?” I always shrugged off that question because I’d answered it so many times it seemed silly. But now I understand. Answering the “why” was giving him the words of affirmation he so desired. He may not have known how to express his need or desire, but he knew to ask, “Why?”
That’s why this video came to mind when I learned of his Love Language. I Missed! And I mean big time. All over the wall and on the ceiling like the little boy in this movie scene. So the last few days I’ve been taking more time to affirm him with my words. To not only tell him how much I love him, but why I love him. It’s not good enough to tell him that I appreciate him. I need to articulate why.
I may have missed in this area before…but not anymore. I’m making it my mission to learn my husband’s love language better. And to speak it fluently.
What about you? Do you know your love language? What about your husband’s? If you don’t, I can’t encourage you enough to take the assessment test. It’s free and it may give you additonal insight into the mind of your husband (and really, don’t we all need that, at least a little bit).
Until tomorrow…make it a great day!
P.S. Your comments are always welcome. I love continuing the conversation long after I’ve posted the day’s topic. Thanks!