Oh, the joys of dating! Sometimes when I hear people talk about date night, they make it sound so obligatory. Because someone said they should do it once a week, they do it, but sometimes they’d rather not.
When I hear people talk like that about their date nights, I think, Oh, how I wish they knew how fun dating can be! I think a part of the problem is so many think date nights need to take tons of planning or work.
Going (or staying in) on a date with your spouse should not feel like work. You can do tiny things like a frozen yogurt date or a coffee date (where you just go to your local shop, order what you want and enjoy 30 minutes together just connecting).
You don’t have to get dressed up or bring out the china. Dating is about connection. Yes, sometimes you may have the energy to plan a date that is a little more involved. And other times you might not. Go with whatever feels right for you, your spouse, and works with your schedule.
Dating is so important to keeping the fire lit in your marriage. And as Kim Hall with TooDarnHappy.com shares today, there are also some great benefits you may not have considered until now.
Until tomorrow…make it a great day!
First, let’s talk about what it means to date your husband.
I love how Paula Rollo described this, and I’ll paraphrase: At the core, it’s about taking the time together to deepen and grow your relationship.
It’s that simple, and it can take multiple forms.
The point is to spend time together enjoying and paying attention to one another.
You already know dates help rekindle romance and build intimacy, but there are other surprising rewards as well.
1. Create shared stories. These can be about something big, like a weekend away at a luxurious B&B, or small, like the walk at dusk where you saw the sparkling dance of the fireflies. Stories are the ties that bind you together and keep your family strong.
2. Build resiliency. Sometimes ants overrun your romantic picnic, or rain pours down on your trip. The ability to find the good in and laugh at most anything, especially when you share those moments, builds resiliency that will help you bounce back from bigger challenges.
3. Be a great a role model. The idea of dating your husband and thereby putting your marriage first can be a controversial one, as Fawn notes here. She makes this important point, though: “Being a living example of the marriage you want for your own children teaches them at an early age what love looks like (and what it doesn’t).”
4. Move out of your comfort zone. Growth occurs on the edges of your comfort zone; not on your comfy couch cushions. Sharing an activity on that edge is a good thing! It ultimately helps you develop more capability, flexibility, and maybe even more patience, all traits that make for a happier wife.
5. Open the door for more interesting conversations. My hubby and I find that long walks or car rides especially allow time for more expansive, uninterrupted talks. We might choose a topic from the news, Sunday’s sermon, or a current book, or just let the conversation meander. Even though we’ve been married over 31 years, these conversations help us to see each other—and our world—from a new perspective.
6. Move towards a goal. Whether you want to be more fit, get rid of clutter, or set your sights on anything else important to you both, you will discover a great deal of shared satisfaction when you work as a team towards that goal.
While revitalizing and refreshing your marriage through one-on-one time is important and can be lots of fun, too, I hope these additional benefits provide even more motivation to date your husband!
YOUR TURN: What benefits have you discovered come from dating your spouse?
May you find happiness wherever you are! Kim, your personal Sherpa of Joy at Too Darn Happy
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