5 Proven Happiness Boosters for Couples

By Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott on Thursday, April 17, 2014

5 Proven Happiness Boosters for Couples

Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott make a confession at the start of their guest post below.  So I thought it only right that I make a confession of my own.

We are on day four of our Making Happy marriages series with only one day remaining, and this post so far, is my favorite.

This amazing couple and #1 New York Times best-selling authors give us a peak into their own marriage, and how these 5 proven happiness boosters for couples, improved their marriage.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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We’ve got a confession to make. When we wrote Making Happy, we wrote it for ourselves.  Not that we were unhappy in our marriage. Not by a long shot.

We’re coming up on our 30th anniversary and could not be more grateful for our relationship. It’s been a blast. But we are maximizers. We want it to be the best it can be. And if there’s more happiness that can be had – the deep, meaningful, and abiding kind – count us in.

So we set off on a quest. We wanted to climb the gargantuan mountain of happiness research and see what we could find specifically for us. Well, we hit the mother-load.

We uncovered several counter-intuitive things we could do to take our happiness to new heights.

We put them into practice. They not only worked, they worked near miracles. We soon saw that just a minor adjustment could make a world of difference – not just to better our mood, but to better our relationship.

That’s why we’re so excited to share the news with couples like you. We want to show you how to make happy together.

It’s easier than you might think.

Here’s just a bit on the “happiness boosters” that have proven to move the needle in our relationship and we’re confident they’ll do the same for you.

1.  Get Grateful

Dr. Robert Emmons – who has been studying gratitude for more than a decade and is considered by many to be the world’s leading authority on it – says this: Studies show that practicing gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25 percent. Think of that! Gratitude can instantly and measurably improve your relationship. We dare you to think of three things right now that you are deeply grateful for in your spouse. It’s sure to instantly make you happier.

2. Get Out of Your Rut

Dinner and a movie again? That’s fun. But researchers at State University of New York at Stony Brook tested to see what happens when you get couples to break the monotony of married life, specifically testing would it rekindle romance and boost their happy factor.

They had half of their recruited couples do a mundane activity together while the others did a crazy obstacle course while connected to each other by Velcro. Was there a difference between the two groups? You bet. The Velcro couples made far more positive comments and reported being happier.

3. Dream Together

The moment a couple quits looking to the future together is the moment they become vulnerable to dissatisfaction. This is not a sentimental saying. It’s backed up by research. A survey of more than 1,400 married people by Utah State University found that couples who regularly discuss their long-range plans are more likely to stay happily married. Why? Because talking about your shared future communicates that you both plan on being there together.

4. Master the Magic Ratio

In scientific studies of marriage it’s literally called the Michelangelo effect. In subtle ways, we reinforce patterns in each other via countless little interactions – positive or negative moments. That sculpting can either reveal more of your partner by celebrating who he or she is or it can hold them captive.

Happy relationships, noted psychologist John Gottman, are characterized by a ratio of 5:1. This means that for every negative statement or behavior like criticizing or nagging, there must be five positive statements given. Gottman calls it “the magic ratio” and he and his colleagues predicted whether 700 newlywed couples would stay together or divorce by scoring their positive and negative interactions in one 15-minute conversation between each husband and wife. Ten years later, the follow-up revealed that they had predicted divorce with 94 percent accuracy.

5. Be Intimate

Perhaps the lamest excuse we ever hear for a couple getting a divorce is, “We just seemed to drift apart.” Excuse us, but there is no drifting. It is a series of decisions, choices, and attitudes that distance a couple. “It is not a lack of love,” said Friedrich Nietzche, “but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

Incidentally, the social scientific evidence clearly shows that the vast majority of divorces occur in relatively low-conflict marriages. A malaise in marriage sets in. And that’s due to a lack of emotional intimacy. It turns out after reviewing hundreds of research studies on the various factors that predict stable, happy marriages, scientists are converging on an unexpected primary factor: friendship. In fact, emotional intimacy of friendship trumps romance.

Gallup’s research indicates that a couple’s friendship quality could account for 70 percent of overall marital satisfaction. In fact, the emotional intimacy that a married couple shares is said to be five times more important than their physical intimacy. Emotional intimacy is one of the most vital wellsprings of happiness a couple can ever find.

You’ll find more about all of these tips and many, many more in our new book, Making Happy. Not only that, we’ll provide you with a 21-Day Happiness Plan that makes it super easy to put all of it painlessly into practice.

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  • Kristen Grills

    The new website looks great! (and who doesn’t love a good giveaway, right?!) Praying that all of this excitement generates excitement for marriages above all else. Way to do, Fawn (and team).

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn

      What a sweetheart you are, Kristen! Still tweaking the site…we definitely went live before everything was done (but such is life :) ). Appreciate you hanging with us today.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thank you so much, Kristen!! Thought I responded to this earlier…but alas I didn’t.

  • Jeanne

    Do we enter on each blog or just one time? Thanks for the wonderful giveaway! My husband and I need to get away together!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Hi Jeanne, Just one time is perfect :) . And it’s our pleasure!

  • http://joyfulmothering.net Christin

    Well, I haven’t “officially” joined until now. Now I’m a part of the club—officially! ;)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn

      Yeah!! I can’t believe you hadn’t joined until today, Christin! Well, welcome officially to the club :) .

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      I can’t believe you never joined officially, Christin! Well, welcome to the club (better late than never :) ).

  • http://www.facebook.com/AnjieYoung Anjanette Young

    I remember the beginning Fawn and I have always loved what you are doing. Happy Wives Club is a wonderful site. Anjanette @MommaYoung, celebrating year 24 this December…

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      I remember when you first began following and encouraging us. Thank you so much, Anjanette! It’s women like you that kept us going even when we got tired…

  • Lori@encourageyourspouse

    How awesome – thanks for the opportunity to link up and connect. It great to also be able to leave a comment here! ;-)

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Lori! Isn’t it great to finally have comments?! That was one of the main reasons we moved from Squarespace to WordPress was because the commenting system on Squarespace is so bad (which is why we didn’t use them). Thanks for visiting, and linking up, and commenting. You rock, Lori!

  • http://momstheword--livingforhim.blogspot.com/ Nan

    My husband is a pastor. He was very shy as a child. He doesn’t have to force himself to care about people or love people, he loves them just like you do. But he, too, has to work at being more outgoing and talking with people, so he can get exhausted too. Fortunately he’s interesed in people just as you are so that helps!

    I am more outgoing than he is so I think we make a great team, lol! :)

    Thank you for the giveaway (Disney all the way,baby!!!!) and thank you for hosting toay! I am so glad I got your email because I didn’t know you’d moved it. So I went ahead and linked up Have a lovely day, my friend! :)

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Nan! So happy I emailed you, as well. Yes, I’m alot like your husband and I’m grateful I had a husband who said, “Hey Babe, do you know how you’re perceived when you shrink off into a corner in the middle of an event?” I never even realized (or thought about) that. But once he said it, I began working on it because it’s so important to me that people see nothing but love from all I say and do. Sounds like that’s your husband’s story, as well… Thanks for linking up, Nan.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kellywsmith Kelly Smith

    Love your heart, Fawn! And I am so thankful to have a hubby who’s a blessing too. I went through a long battle with health issues and so I can relate to what you’re saying about making some substantial changes to my diet as a result. I just want to encourage you that you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel getting soy out of your diet (as well as all those highly processed foods you mentioned) and moving toward more healthy whole foods. What a blessing that you have a great encourager right there with you as you start this journey! And there are so many real foodies out there more than willing to help you (smile)!! xoxo, Kelly

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Kelly! I am certainly encouraged. I told Keith, “Well, you’ll be married to a lean and fit woman your entire life because I can’t eat anything!” LOL! Much love.

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    My sympathies on your allergies. My Keith has had them the whole time we’ve been together (non-food, recently lactose intolerant), and about a year ago he was diagnosed as highly gluten intolerant. It’s been a big change in the house, but he’s been a good sport about it, especially since he has felt so much better since going gluten free.

    My Keith has made me laugh innumerable times in our marriage. Although I can’t recount a particular one off the top of my head, he has saved my sanity often with his caring and quick wit.

    Halleluja for hubbies!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Kim, your hubby’s name is Keith too?! I now know three bloggers who adore their Keith’s: you, Sheila Wray Gregoire (Love, Honor & Vacuum) and Courtney Joseph (Women Living Well). What are the chances? On a side note, I was praying I didn’t have a gluten allergy. That would have made it SOOOO tricky.

      • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

        Ha ha! We shall be the mini Happy Wives of Keith Club! :-)

  • Andrea W

    Happy Friday! I l like old school….Anne Meara & Ben Stiller…married since 1954!! I love them!! Of course, Denzel & Pauletta Washington.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Since 1954? How old is Ben Stiller?!? Are you sure?

  • http://twitter.com/ColleenLeslieT Colleen Thompson

    Hey Fawn and Mai,

    First, I want to thank you for leaving me a message that this link up had moved. I have missed a couple of weeks and wouldn’t have found you back so fast if not for your effort to let me know.

    Secondly, I’m wondering if there is a way that I can fix the pic that I used for my link today for the Monday Morning Bragging Wife. If not, I won’t die. But it’s a little low-res, no? ;)

    Thanks again for the great work you do at Happy Wives Club.

    Colleen

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Yeah! So happy. Send me the pic you want to use to fawn(at)happywivesclub(dot)com and I’ll get it changed out for you :) .

  • http://twitter.com/ColleenLeslieT Colleen Thompson

    Great words of wisdom about taking ‘me time’, Fawn. I assure you that I wholeheartedly agree! When I am consistent about taking time to for myself, I notice a VAST difference in how my days go.

    With our family schedule, I find the only me time I can carve out is before everyone gets up. 6 a.m. is the magic hour. And, despite often being out late for work – like 1 a.m. – I’m seeing that my days still go better when I get up early to pray, ponder, read my Bible and read whatever leadership, relationship or people skills book is on the lesson plan at the moment.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thank you, Colleen! Today was the first day I slooooowed down and set aside some “me” time and it’s made a world of difference. I decided today I wouldn’t talk about how busy I am or how there isn’t enough time in the day and would simply focus on maximizing the time I’ve got and I can’t even begin to tell you how all of a sudden I have enough time in the day to do what needs to be done. Our words are so powerful (and so is “me” time :) ).

    • http://SusanMe.com Susan Merrill

      Colleen, have you already read the book?! You are naming the chapters — ponder and pray!

  • Lori @ Encourage Your Spouse

    What’s the latest lesson I’ve been learning about prioritizing life? That I MUST make time to nurture friendships. The days can just slip by, and the “let’s get coffee together someday” never happens, unless it’s on the calendar. Having positive friendships also enriches my relationship with my hubby because everything I learn and experience I can bring back to our marriage so he can benefit also.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Sounds like you and I are learning the same lesson. Isn’t it amazing how “let’s get coffee someday” turns into 3 months later. So sad. As you learn how to carve out the time, please share your success with me :) .

    • http://SusanMe.com Susan Merrill

      In the book I have many confessions of mistakes and one of them was not doing this very thing! Last night I had many friends over to honor the way they have impacted my parenting with wisdom and supported me during the writing of the book–friends are a treasure.

  • Andrea W.

    Happy Wednesday! I’m happy I learned this lesson years ago! Open to learning more.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks for stopping by, Andrea! So happy you learned this lesson years ago too. Years ahead of me :) .

  • Cam | Bibs & Baubles

    This post was so on time. My mother just told me this week that if I’m too busy to do what I need to do, I’m busier than God ever intended for me to be. It struck a cord because between our children and our careers, my husband and I can be like two ships passing in the night some days. I’m a believer in the power of words too. This whole “busy” thing can, scratch that WILL be fixed. Power in words, indeed.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Sounds like you are in the same place I was at on Monday. The good news is just that simply mindset change and the words to follow it can change everything – in an instant! So tell your Mom, you’ve fixed it :) .

    • http://SusanMe.com Susan Merrill

      I am smiling with your choice of words “two ships that pass in the night” Our pre-marital counselor used those very words to describe us years ago! It was a big warning to us that we were both busy types and need to focus on each other.

  • GreatPeaceAcademy

    I can’t say that I’ve thought of it in those terms. My spouse of 20 years and I try to connect daily, touch base if you will. We try to weekly have a discussion about what’s going on, we mostly talk in the car while travelling here and there. We do however, carve out once a month date time. Without Fail. It’s important to focus on just us.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      That consistency -even once a month- makes a world of difference, doesn’t it?

  • http://twitter.com/ButterflySmilez Terra Newsome

    As a busy mother of 5 (ages 17,15,14.13 and 11) and wife of 18.5yrs, it takes EFFORT to keep our marriage flowing. In the busier years as a SAHM and a wife of an Army solider, my time was consumed by the kids yet as Christ Jesus being our foundation, we made what time we had possible and kept our priorities focused while prayerful throughout our journey as a couple and parents. Now that the kids are older, we talk often throughout the day and schedule lunch and/or weekend dates. I really look forward to these times…. even if it’s just mini phone calls from him while he’s at work just to say “Hello” or a text saying “I love you”. My husband still gives me butterflies!!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Oh, the mini phone calls and texts are the best, aren’t they? Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to post a comment, Terra!

    • http://SusanMe.com Susan Merrill

      Your love for your husband is precious! And small points of communication are a gift of technology today–it is so easy just to text and call anytime, anywhere. We have a family group text and pictures and words pop up all day for the all of us to see–fun!

  • Andrea W.

    Happy Wednesday! Yes I have heard this myth, but REFUSE to buy n2 it! Hubbie won’t allow it! Thank goodness 4 that! Small love gestures become BIG rewards! As Florida Evans usta say about James……HAVE MERCY! =)

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Good for hubby! Yes, those small gestures reap HUGE rewards!

  • Whitney

    I’ve only been married a couple years…and we have a toddler so it really makes it difficult to focus on each other or even have an adult conversation. But we have become really involved with our church and we attend a young married couples Sunday School class where EVERYONE has the same problems that we do. It has truly been a blessing to find a church family! It really does make a difference when something is on your mind, or you have an argument and every couple in the room agrees or laughs because they feel the same way! I guess what I’m getting at is that the small, petty problems that you are having in your marriage are the same ones everyone else has so don’t sweat the small stuff!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Yes, yes, yes! Don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff :) .

    • http://SusanMe.com Susan Merrill

      It is hard because small stuff can become habits but yes, you have to let it go and focus on what is important. And so wise of you to find a Sunday School group that you can be transparent with as a compass for what is “normal” in marriage. I am sure it really helps maintain realistic expectations!

  • http://twitter.com/TheMommyMess Adrienne Bolton

    Great ideas!!! I’m pinning! I found your blog from Kim at Too Darn Happy. ;)

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Love, Kim!! Thank you so much, Adrienne!

  • Shannah at Just Us Four

    The new site looks awesome and I love the ability to comment!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Yeah! And I really love the ability to comment back to you :) .

  • http://momstheword--livingforhim.blogspot.com/ Nan

    Great post! Unfortunately it’s easy for hubby to get lost in the kid shuffle and the relationship put on the back burner until the kids are grown if we aren’t careful to nourish and guard it. And if we don’t guard it, what relationship wll we have left?

    Thanks for hosting today! :)

    • http://momstheword--livingforhim.blogspot.com/ Nan

      O.k so I feel the need to tell you that I DO know how to spell “will.” Lol! ;)

      • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

        LOL! Too Funny :) .

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Not much of a relationship at all, Nan. You are so right!

    • http://SusanMe.com Susan Merrill

      Nan, I have done this exact thing thousands of times — Mark is much better at maintaining the focus on our marriage.

  • Lucille Williams

    Fawn, I love this! Amen & Amen! The best line for me was “fat bank account and a skinny relationship.” That said it all! Great post!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Lucille! Did you already link up? I look forward to reading your post :) .

  • http://www.messymarriage.com/ Beth Steffaniak

    I agree 100%, Fawn! I think this is a perfect way to say it and demonstrate it. In fact, I’m going to take your lead and “lean in on my husband” now! Thanks for the encouragement.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Love this! Thanks for stopping my, Beth, and taking the time to comment.

  • Ferly Tangonan

    This is a great post and I totally agree with you. This morning I gave up probably an hour of sleep to make my husband a sandwich to take with him to work. I did this not because he asked me to {he didn’t}, but I wanted to show adoration to my husband for getting up early everyday and taking the full responsibility of providing for our family. I could tell he appreciated me being up with him. It was worth losing an hour of sleep today.

    ~ Ferly
    Gifts We Use {to grow, love and serve}

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Sounds like the best thing you could have possibly done with that hour. Good on you! <3

  • Donna

    I love the post on the benefits of making love a priority. I understand with jobs & small kids it’s hard to juggle the time & exhaustion element. I find by talking to friends, most women have NO DESIRE ! I find that sad since God gave us the GIFT of sex ! It was his idea & I find it the best gift ever ! Yes, my sons are now grown & I am now married 14 years to the MAN of my dreams in every category ! So intimacy is extremely important to us & we know what we don’t want in our relationship based on past mistakes with our exes. We never look at sex as a chore EVER ! We view it as a pleasure & time to bond & connect. My husband has worked overseas the past 5 years & we are only together twice a year for 30 days. THAT will definitely give you a new perspective. Our bucket list once he is home for good is 1 YEAR ( 365 days) of love making.
    And we know with our strong love & commitment it’s 100% possible ! For women who have lost their libido, they need to get it back for the sake of their marriage & partner ! God says we are to submit to our husbands. What greater gift to give them, then our love & intimacy in the bedroom.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Donna, for your response! As Sheila mentioned here, enjoying the process of making love is so beneficial for both husband and wife and exploring with your partner what feels best and when can be tricky (if only we could all take classes on this :) ). Over the years, our bodies change so much and keeping up with that can be tough. But those who make it a priority can enjoy it for as long as our bodies will allow it (woohoo to that!!).

  • http://www.joleneengle.org/ Jolene @ The Alabaster Jar

    I’m my man’s biggest cheerleader and I’m glad for that high position of honor! We’re one flesh and we’re constantly encouraging one another. Thanks for sharing, Trisha!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      I hear you, Jolene! I’m the exact same way. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. Appreciate you!

  • Nan

    For some reason it won’t let me leave a comment on your individual post but it WILL let me leave one here!
    Awesome post. Over the years I have (hopefully) learned how to allow my husband to talk without shutting him down with my initial “That’s impossible” or “You can’t be serious” reaction, lol!
    I remember before he became a pastor he came to me stating that he wanted to go into the ministry. He was terrified of my reaction because when we were dating I stated that I never wanted to be a pastor’s wife. Never. Did I mention never? ;)
    God speaks through our husbands and definitely though mine because sometimes I am so caught up in details and deadlines and cleaning house, etc., that I forget to have fun and I forget to dream a little!
    Thanks so much for your post, Tricia, and for hosting today, Fawn!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Nan! I tried to reply to this last night but our Disqus system went a little whacko for a few hours. My programmer is working on figuring out this issue. Thanks for alerting me!

  • Tyson Cooper

    This is great advice Tricia, thank you for sharing. I agree entirely. As my wife supports me in achieving my dreams my desire to support and encourage her in her dreams increases dramatically. And you’re right, if she questions or doubts an idea that I have immediately I begin to focus on what is wrong with it and how it will probably fail. Thankfully, I have a fantastic wife who is probably far more supportive than she should be. :)

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Sounds like you have an awesome wife, Tyson…and you’re incredibly grateful. That’s a good thing for sure!

  • Tonya@ The Dieter’s Academy

    This the best marriage advice I have heard in a long time! I think more marriages would be successful if spouses focused on positive uplifting attitudes and actions, as opposed to zooming in on the little things that aren’t going as planned. I love the idea of dreaming and supporting our spouses in their dreams. Like Tricia said – when we do, everybody wins!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Absolutely! Everybody wins.

  • Ferly Tangonan

    I love your perspective on this! I have learned that every interruption is divine, so seeing them from that point of view helps to find the immediate beauty in an otherwise inconvenient situation. Great post!

    ~ Ferly
    Gifts We Use {to grow, love and serve}

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      So true, Ferly! It’s all divine.

  • LeAnn Williams

    I loved this one. You have a great perspective. You also have a loyal dedicated husband who is like mine; he will go to work until he feels like dieing. I love thought the thoughts on serving others and your husband should be the on the top of that list.
    Blessings!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      You are absolutely right! Hubby should be at the top of the list. <3

  • Shannah at Just Us Four

    I think this is so important to remember. It is way to easy to focus on the inconvenience or downside to an unexpected change. Great points on how important it is to keep perspective.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Shannah! And thank you for taking the time to comment :) .

  • jn107691

    I just found your site. Thank you for all the input you provide. I have been trying to be a good wife to my husband. He also is self sufficient. I like the suggestions here. We usually only hear and see the negative. I have tried to be a positive impact with my husband but it difficult at times. It is so nice to see positive thinking about being married, especially after 25 years.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thank you so much for your comment! You are so right that we almost see, hear and breathe negativity when it comes to marriage. But you and I (and the women of this club) can change that :) .

  • Tyson Cooper

    Fawn you are so right. Happiness is a choice and thankfully it is not governed by genetics. My grandparents divorced but my parents are happily married and will be celebrating their 30th anniversary this June. However, my sister and her husband really struggle. I believe it is important to include God in our marriages and have found that as my wife and I do it is easier to be happy. We are grateful each day for a strong marriage and we focus on ensuring it stays strong.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Yes! And you hit the nail on the head. Even with God as the center (as He is in our marriage, as well), happiness is impossible without genuine gratitude.

  • http://www.messymarriage.com/ Beth Steffaniak

    You were right, Fawn. For some reason, using the Google Chrome browser allows me to see and comment directly on your post. I’ll have to remember that next time. :)

    And I love this idea. I use my notepad app for a lot of things and this is a great list to create and continue to add to. I love having the ease of my phone (which is almost always with me) to record important things that I need to remember. And I’m certain that remembering all throughout my day just how my husband has blessed me will improve my attitude and gratitude toward him. Thanks so much!

    • http://www.messymarriage.com/ Beth Steffaniak

      Welp, i take that back. It appears to have moved me to your comment policy page. Oh well. I hope it encourages you anyway!

      • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

        You’re not on the Comments Policy page, Beth. You’re on the home page :) . The comments policy is always written along the top. My programmer is now trying all the different browsers to see which are having the problem and we’re crossing our fingers that Disqus already knows and is working on it.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Beth! It was amazing how many things I began to see when I took the time to look for them. I hope this exercise will really touch you and your marriage. <3

  • paula

    I have been learning this lesson lately as well. Contentment does not mean that you don’t want anything else! it just means you are choosing to be happy where you are. There is a lot that I want (and that would make my life SO much easier) but I’m learning to be truly happy. :)

    Thanks for sharing this great reminder that is applicable to all parts of life! :)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn Weaver

      Ditto, Paula! I know exactly what you mean :) .

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Paula. You are so right. It’s definitely applicable to all parts of life.

  • Debi – The Romantic Vineyard

    Fawn, I love this!!! Congratulations on your first decade of marriage. And what a great memory you made. You made a beautiful bride!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thank you, Debi! I truly appreciate it.

  • Elizabeth Ours

    Wow! So sweet! You are So BEAUTIFUL! What a gorgeous wedding dress! Thanks for letting us have a peek into your special day together!! And Happy Anniversary!!!! ;)

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thank you, Elizabeth!

  • http://www.facebook.com/bridget.cook.98 Bridget Cook

    I loved the surprise vow renewal for guests! All I could do was smile as I was reading and thinking about your guest’s reactions. You two look great together-beautiful and oh so sneaky :P

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      I wish I could have seen the guest’s reaction too! I hear it was pretty fantastic :) .

  • Andrea W.

    WOW!! BREATHTAKING!!! HAPPY 10 YEARS 2GETHER and many, many, upon many more years 2gether!! praise JESUS!!!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Andrea!

  • Cindy – Marriage Missions

    What a beautiful testimony of love! We’re so blessed to be able to celebrate with you on a decade of love and promises well-kept! May God continue to shine His blessing upon your marriage as you join with Him in being His colleagues in displaying and giving love to each other. We celebrate with you! May your love and commitment cause others to see the Love of Christ in action so many will want to know our God better.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Oh, thank you Cindy!

  • paula

    congrats on your renewal!!! :) looks like a beautiful day <3

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thank you so much, Paula!

  • GreatPeaceAcademy

    Congratulations! What an awesome way to spend your anniversary! I love that you surprised your guests because it made it more about the two of you sharing your love than about their expectations for the day. :)

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      You can say that again! My hubby and I were just talking about that. Others expectations will completely rob you of your happiness if you don’t guard yourself from that. And this is the very reason we decided to do it this way (and SO happy we did :) ).

  • http://twitter.com/RhiannonSTR Rhiannon Strobel

    Absolutely happiness and love are a choice that can be made every single day! I love your empowering, positive and loving posts! Thank you again :)

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thanks, Rhiannon! Comments like yours encourage us so much.

  • Andrea W

    Happy Friday! Printing the list right now! This is exciting! Have a fun & safe Memorial Day weekend!!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Same to you, Andrea!

  • Lori

    Thanks so much for sharing A Year of Questions with your gals. Blessings, Lori <

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Thank YOU! This is so wonderful.

  • ArlenePellicane

    Thank you so much Lori & Fawn! Printing the questions now – perfect for the summertime at meals! :)

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Yeah! So happy you like it :) .

  • Hannah B

    THANK YOU! I’ve been wanting to make something like this!!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Yeah!! So happy you’re going to benefit from this, Hannah.

  • http://twitter.com/RhiannonSTR Rhiannon Strobel

    I LOVE this: “Never argue over things that will not matter in the last five minutes of your life”

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Isn’t that a great reminder, Rhiannon!

  • Lauren Lawson

    This seriously made me tear up when i read it yesterday. I’m so sorry for your families loss. I LOVE that your mom has that peace to carry with her… words have power.

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      Lauren, you are such a sweetheart. So honored you take the time to read HWC and I love it every time you link up so I can enjoy Aunt La La!

  • SistersRaiseSisters

    This is our first time to join the link up! Excited to be here and share our post about Love Languages. Found you through Moms the Word. – Penny Lane @ SistersRaisingSisters.com

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      Awesome. Looking forward to reading your post!

  • Still DatingMySpouse

    I don’t know how I been missing Marriage Monday…..Thanks for allowing me to link up my blog post! Look forward to visiting the blogs!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      Yeah! So happy you found us again for Marriage Mondays :) .

  • Angie @ The Dating Divas

    Happy Monday! Have a great week and thank you for hosting! ~ Angie @ The Dating Divas

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      Thanks for always joining us, Angie! We find so many fabulous tips over at TheDatingDivas.com!

  • Kimberly Green

    We take advantage of any Lunch date opportunities while kids are at school. No babysitter- cheaper menu.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      Oh, that’s a great idea, Kimberly! That is definitely one to add to this list.

  • Lisa

    Just found this blog! Looks great! I love the Date Nights Cheap. We all need date nights, and we’re all strapped, so this post is excellent!

    By the way, I accidentally wrote the title of my blog as my name, instead of 8 Ways to be Your Husband’s Best Friend! Oops…

    Thanks again for hosting!

    Lisa
    http://Www.thecourageousjourney.com

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      So nice to meet you, Lisa! Happy you found us :) . No worries on your link up title. We can get that changed for you :) .

  • Andrea W

    Happy June & Happy Monday!!! At my church,, I have signed my hubbie & I up 4 an all day tourist excursion! It is to a famous tourist spot. I am excited because 4 the low cost of $50, we can spend the entire day together, ride the bus as someone else does the driving, & enjoy each others company! The $50 cost would be gas alone if we were driving to the same spot. Snacks R included N the cost of the all day excursion!!! I can’t wait for my date-DAY with hubbie!!! N-joy HIS day!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      That sounds like a pretty amazing deal! Is this something your church put together or something through a tour company that is partnering with your church?

      • Andrea W.

        The church put the trip together. We will arrive to the church to catch the bus at 6:45 a.m. & return to the church @ 6:30 p.m. Of course, I will take X-tra food so hubbie & I can have an outdoor picnic & just enjoy the grounds as much as we can. I may take my 365 questions from your previous posting & discuss some of the questions thruout the day! We actually discussed 3 of the questions last nite. Pretty good discussion! Keep up the tremendous work, Fawn!!!

  • http://www.onepartjoyonepartcircus.com/ AJ Collins

    Great post! We are also strapped financially, so this is perfect timing! We like to eat at an inexpensive restaurant and wander through a book-store together.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      Oh, the book store thing is a great idea because it can spark great dreams together.

  • Pam@mommacan.com

    Love this post! I just texted my husband…. : )

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Woohoo! He’s going to LOVE that!

  • Fina

    LOL you have just converted me to an “over girl” LOL Have a great day!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Woohoo! Now, we’re talkin! :) Make it a beautiful weekend, Fina.

  • Lisa

    This is so good! Do great minds think alike, or what? My post this week is on exercise and eating right, and how it makes the marriage sizzle!

    I can relate to your words that “some of the noises my body makes while we are having sex are definitely NOT the erotic kind!” Funny, but not funny!

    Keep up the great posts!

    Lisa
    http://www.thecourageousjourney.com

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Isn’t that the truth, Lisa! “Funny, but not funny!” :)

  • Tom and Debi Walter

    Fawn, We’ve had a similar group for the past 8 years. We’ve called it the Passport Dinner Club. I made a passport for each couple and we would stamp the page when we visited different countries. We did it so long that we ended up adding regions of the USA to our list of choices. The club has since ended, but we’re looking to start up again with another group of friends. I’m still so amazed you were able to travel the world last year. What an amazing opportunity!

    • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      That seems like SO much fun!

  • Lisa Raub

    For me, I guess reading great blogs and good books has been the salvation of my marriage! God has been so good!

    My Beloved and I go out every other week (which is not often enough for either of us, but it’s what we can do right now) and I know that helps a lot too!

    Lisa

  • Lynn

    Thank you for hosting this blog hop! I look forward to reading the articles.

    Lynn (Living Free in Christ)

  • Lena Middleton

    These five points are very valuable and significant. I
    personally feel that it does not only improve the relationship but will create
    a good environment for the next generation.

    http://riversidecounty.wordpress.com/

  • Fougies

    Best anniversary gift I ga e my husband was a voucher to get our first professional photo done he’s been wanting and waiting took awhile to pay it off but finally got it done and he cherishes it.

  • Cindy H.

    Hello Fawn, A group of women from a few of our local churhes are doing “The Husband Project” 21 days of loving Your Man on Purpose and with a Plan by Kathi Lipp. I found your site online by googling ideas on loving your husband. I shared your site with the rest of the ladies yesterday when I found it so they can get the certificate for their hubby too. I look forward to reading more on here!

  • TrulyWed Wives

    We’re excited, getting our Philly Wives ready!

  • Kirstin Fuller

    Fabulous ideas… Love them all! Thanks Christine!

  • http://www.aterriblehusband.com/about/ ATerribleHusband

    Awesome post! I usually text or send a silly selfie to my wife of me smiling or giving a thumbs up message. But I need to get “religious committed” to it. It’s been a few times per week. Love the ideas in the comments too!

  • JWilliamson

    I have just join the group I am really excited to add more to my marriage. Hope to hear from you ladies.

  • spope

    What a great ‘club’ to be a part of! I often hear people say couples that don’t fight don’t make it – I think that’s a load of balony personally. My husband and I have had exactly two fights in our relationship of over 18 years, and both times a little too much alcohol impared our judgement. We’ve not fought in our entire marriage of 13 years. Glad to hear there are other believers out there!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn Weaver

      So happy you found us here! Thank you.

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