DO YOU STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE? 

Recently, a girlfriend of mine told me about this wonderful book by a popular husband/wife team called Captivating.  I went onto their website to get information on the book and saw a new one they were promoting entitled “Love & War.”  I thought, "Great title!"  But then was immediately saddened the moment I began reading the introduction and first chapter. 

They’re great writers and their message is certainly relatable to many but it couldn’t have been further from how I feel about my marriage.  My heart began to sink halfway through their first chapter when they began a section titled Romance Meets Reality with: “Maybe we ought to start this book here: Marriage is fabulously hard.”  I thought, “But it doesn’t have to be.”  They continued with “Everybody who has been married knows this.”  Inside I began getting upset, “Not everybody – not me.  Not my husband.  Not many of the friends we know.  Who is everybody?  Who are you talking about?”

 I am going to write this even knowing I run the risk of sounding naïve and a bit emotional.  Reading this caused tears to form in my soul.  Although they were not streaming down my face, there was a genuine sadness forming inside of me and I knew the reason.  People have given up on love.  True love.  Not the battle worn, tattered, strained love everyone seems to be promoting as the only kind of love – but love as I've come to know it.  Which funny enough, is exactly how it is defined in the dictionary:

 love

loved, loving.

-noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire

4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

And so on...

You might be asking why this would bother me so much.  Why this got under my skin.  It’s simple.  The more we say marriage is difficult and love is hard, the more jaded we become.  This becomes our new kind of normal.  That hurts me because I want so desperately for other women to feel the love I have in my marriage.  To experience the joy of being married to your closest friend, confidant and lover.  My heart’s desire is that women all over the world will rekindle in their hearts the love story which began when we were little girls.  Before the world – and past romantic interests – had a chance to ruin it.

Marriage does not need to be “fabulously hard.”  It doesn’t need to be hard at all.  But making sure you don’t fall into the category of “everyone” these authors were referring to will certainly take some TLC.  Just like anything else we hold in high regard, we must nurture and care for our marriages if we are to reap the full beauty and benefits of our perfect union.  Yes, I said a ‘perfect union.’  You believed that was possible when you were young, right?  What changed that?  How do you get that back?

Let’s do it together.  Allow me and the ‘Happy Wives’ posting their 'Quick Tips' and 'Sage Wisdom' on this site to encourage you through this stage of your life.  Whether single and hoping to one day become married or already married and in need of a reminder of the love you promised to your husband, this site is for you. 

Single women: you’re in the best position of your life.  You are able to ‘work on you’ so you are emotionally, physically and spiritually healthy before you say “I do.”  Although the postings on this site may not be for you in this season of your life, glean from the wisdom of thousands of women enjoying their marriages to the fullest.

Here’s to those that still believe in Love.  You may say I'm a dreamer...but I'm not the only one.