If you’ve read my journey of marriage over the past ten years, you likely know there is one thing our love has not been able to overcome: Infertility.
“Our reproductive system is broken,” I reminded a few friends of mine over lunch on Friday.
We all shared a good laugh because -according to them- I said it like a little kid, matter-of-factly, and with complete abandon.
I’m not ashamed of it and don’t feel ‘less than’ because we haven’t been able to reproduce. It’s just a piece of fabric in the beautiful tapestry that is our marriage.
We’ve never allowed it to impact the strength of our friendship or love. We know expanding our family would be amazing; a dream come true. But if that never happens, we are perfectly happy with our family of two.
That is why this post by HWC contributor, Lauren (aka Aunt LaLa) touched my heart. There are so many couples who face the challenge of infertility and allow it to chip away at the armor of their marriage.
Don’t allow that couple to be you.
Your love is stronger than infertility and your family of two is more than enough.
Until tomorrow…make it a great day!
On my wedding day someone asked me, “So when are we going to see some little J’s and little L’s running around?” Seriously, I’m not making this up. I just smiled and said the same answer I’d been telling people. “I need to finish college first.”
I was already weary of that answer and it was just the beginning of our marriage. Now, years later, that question never seems to go away.
At times, I’ve thought about answering with: “Well, we’ve been trying to get pregnant for four years, have suffered one miscarriage, and at this point aren’t sure if we ever will be pregnant. But thanks for the reminder.”
Maybe that’s a tad dramatic of a response but some days I am definitely tempted.
This is not coming from someone who embraces the thought of not having kids. I am not someone who thought it would take this long for us to have children (I had a plan, you know). This is someone who desires to be a mother…one day.
It was a process to be able to accept our family of two. Honestly, my husband has been a great encourager and began to help me embrace this thought of a family of two.
There were some truths I had to come to grips with:
1) I can choose to set aside the “plans” I had for my life. Those plans I felt entitled to that have not happened as I thought they should/would.
2) I can either continue to let our infertility overtake my life or embrace what is in the now.
3) I came up with the first plan, I can come up with another. I am able to make new and improved plans with my husband.
4) To find happiness in this moment, and not allow life to pass me by, I must embrace our family of two and start making memories today.
For some time, everything had become overrun with grief over the loss of our precious baby and the dreams I had for our lives.
That was the past, this is now. And in this moment, this point in our life, I can honestly say I am happy with our family of two! My husband and I are crafting new plans! If you too have a story of infertility (or other plans you made for your marriage that haven’t yet happened), take this time to reevaluate.
Infertility can really be a stumbling block in your marriage and can take over your life…if you allow it.
Remember you still have each other and are the best companions for one another. So live life in the now and see what great things you can achieve TOGETHER!
Since I made this decision, I have had the weight lifted off my shoulders. There is not as much pressure in reproducing. My answer now is “We are a family of two for now and are enjoying every minute of it.” Guess what? It is actually true.
Question: What have you enjoyed most about your family of two?
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