If only we could figure out a way to keep life and crazy work schedules from impacting our fabulous marriages, we’d be golden!
Unfortunately, the reality is if we don’t figure out how to manage our work schedules, they will quickly manage us.
This guest post by the always wonderful Paula Rollo can help whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, businesswoman or a combination of them both.
When workloads begin to encroach on your marriage and time with one another, feel free to push back and say, “Not in this house,”
Until tomorrow…make it a great day!
It can be tough to connect when one or both of you are working extra long hours.
My husband has had a crazy work schedule for most of our marriage, and so we’ve learned some important lessons along the way about how to thrive in a marriage when your time together is minimal.
At some points during our marriage we had conflicting work schedules, and other times my husband was working 55+ hours a week while I stayed home with the kids and even started working from home.
Our schedules are still subject to change, because of the industry my husband works in, but we’ve got a much better handle on how to keep our relationship thriving, even when our time together is not as much as we would like for it to be.
5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong Through Crazy Work Schedules
1. Maximize the Time You Have Together - Don’t spend your time together lamenting that you don’t have more time! Instead, find fun things that create conversation and a relaxing atmosphere for you and your spouse! We try to have a game night at least once a week. This allows us to have fun and spend time chatting while doing something relaxing and entertaining for both of us. (I wrote about our favorite 2 player board games here if you want to check it out!)
2. Remember, It’s Only a Season – Even if it is a very long season, it is still just a season! Like I mentioned above, my husband has worked very long hours and had an unpredictable work schedule for most of our marriage. It is so easy to get frustrated with the scheduling during this season of life, but when I find myself getting upset I like to stop and remind myself this is just a season.
Four years with a difficult schedule is a long time for us, because we’ve only been married for 5 years and we’re only 23 years old (for those doing the math, yes, we did get married when we were just 18!). When I gauge the length of this season by those standards, it seems very long. BUT when I consider the “forever” that I have to spend with my spouse, picturing 4 years of wonky scheduling doesn’t seem like so long when compared with 70 years of marriage together! It’s all about the perspective.
3. Don’t Take Tiredness Personally – I remember for a long time I would get offended if my husband came home from work and went to sleep straight after dinner. Sometimes, he would even fall asleep in the middle of me talking to him. This was tough for me to handle as a new wife, but then one night, we were lying in bed talking, he fell asleep in the middle of one of HIS sentences. Right then I realized, he’s just tired.
I learned that it doesn’t mean he’s bored of me, or doesn’t enjoy my company. It simply means he’s worked for 14+ hours straight today and he needs his sleep. Learning to understand that his tiredness had nothing to do with me, enabled me to be a much more gracious wife!
4. ‘Thank You’ Goes a Long Way – Remember to thank each other for working so hard. I can speak from experience that it can be rough running everything at home, but remember to thank him for all the work that he is doing to provide for the family. It’s a simple thing, but “thank you” can do a lot to encourage him after a long day of work.
5. Brainstorm Together – If the schedule is really not working for either of you, spend some time brainstorming together to see if you can come up with another way to make ends meet that wouldn’t be so difficult on one or both of you. Sometimes, even just exploring your options and figuring out that you are currently doing the best thing for your family, can help encourage each of you to keep going when the schedule gets tough!
How do you keep your relationship strong even when the work hours are not ideal? Share your tips in the comments!