I’m an ‘Over’ Girl {10 Things Your Husband Does That Don’t Matter}

By Fawn Weaver on Friday, June 14, 2013

10 Things Your Husband Does That Doesn't Matter

There is a quote I love by J & G Murphy“Make a list of ten of your spouse’s faults, which, for the sake of your marriage, you will always overlook. You can live with those ten.”

Can you think of your ten?

I thought about that quote while watching Oprah high-five someone during an interview proudly declaring, “I’m an ‘over’ girl!  I’m an ‘over’ girl!”  

She was talking to her guest and somehow (I don’t quite remember how) the conversation turned to toilet paper and how some people like to position the roll so the paper is grabbed from the top and some like to pull it from the bottom.

Growing up, my mother was quite particular about this and she was definitely an over girl.  Let’s just say I was a tad rebellious in my youth (surprise, surprise), hence, I’ve always been an under girl.  And I bet you can guess which way Keith prefers.  Yep, he’s an over guy.

For years, he’d position the toilet paper on the holder so the paper would push from the top and when it was my turn to change it, I’d position it so it pulled from the bottom.  

I wouldn’t even think about it.  Years of living by myself and doing things my way taught me that the toilet paper should be pulled from under.  His years of living alone assured him the exact opposite.

But here’s the point.  It’s all a bunch of nonsense!

Who cares which way the toilet paper is positioned?  For that matter, who cares if your spouse drinks directly from the carton of milk or leaves a box of cereal with such a small amount contained any “sensible” person would have thrown it away rather than returning it to the cupboard from which it came?

When building a relationship that will last a lifetime, one of the silliest things we can do is get caught up in the small things that will not matter in the end.  So pick ten things, heck, pick twenty things your husband does that are different from the way you think they should be done, and just live with those. 

Today, I’m an over girl.  After more than three decades of insisting toilet paper made more sense to be pulled from the bottom than the top, I intentionally looked at it from my husband’s point of view and realized I may have been wrong.  It actually makes quite a bit of sense to go from the top.  Then again, it makes just as much sense to go from the bottom.  But more important than both of those perspectives…it just doesn’t matter.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

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Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

 

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  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    I’m standing in my chair cheering your words, Fawn! Yes, yes, yes. Put things in proper perspective.

    I think a great question to ask ourselves is this: If I lost my husband today, would I be grateful he was gone because now the toilet seat would always be down, paper rolling the right way, clothes no longer on the floor, etc.? That question really zooms those little things back into their proper perspective for me!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      YES, Kim! That truly is the question and it’s the one I answered “no” to long, long ago. If it won’t matter when he’s gone, I don’t make it an issue while he is here. Keith just boarded a flight to Mexico this morning and all I care about is his safe return. All the other stuff is inconsequential. Love that hubby of mine – toilet paper on the wrong way and all (LOL).

  • http://www.cherigregory.com/ Cheri Gregory

    I was SO sure I — as an OVER gal — was right…until we got our first kitten. Suddenly, my husband’s UNDER wisdom made soooo much sense!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      LOL!!! I never even thought about it that way. Too funny. Isn’t it amazing how you can almost divide people into “over” and “under” groups. I wonder if research has been done on the personality types associated with each :) .

    • eq620

      The under is also good if you have toddlers in the house, much like the same reason as the kitten. My husband and I have separate bathrooms, so I have mine over and I don’t even know how he has his…LOL!

      • Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        Too funny :) .

  • HappyHousewife

    *cough*

    There is nothing sensible about throwing away the last bit of cereal. That’s wasteful! You can take cereal from the old AND the new box, next time.

    I’m so glad you’re not my husband LOL. He’s as nitpicky and uptight about those little things as I am :D So we can both grumble together about other people who get the toilet paper thing and such ALL WRONG.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      OH, that’s too funny! Well, it sounds like you married your perfect match and that’s awesome. Not all men think like that, for sure, but all the matters is yours does and that’s great.

  • Rebekah

    I’ve personally never consciously thought about which way the toilet paper roll went and so while reading this article, I decided to share it with my hubby man and how silly it was to even notice these details! Well, apparently, he has been switching the roll since I moved in 5 months ago and I had NO IDEA that anyone even noticed such things! I’m quite amused now!!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Oh absolutely! This is huge conversation in many households. I think it just depends on how you were raised. I think that’s why Oprah’s entire audience started cheering when she threw her hands up and proclaimed, “I’m an over girl!” Because so many could relate.

  • Tessa

    I just ran across this article on Pinterest today and, boy, did I need it! There are so many little things my husband does that build tiny bits of frustration and resentment in my heart… like leaving the kitchen cabinets open or throwing his dirty clothes on the floor RIGHT BY the basket lol. Maybe by making this list, I’ll be able to let go of those things. This is great- thank you!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Outstanding! So happy you came across this article just when you needed it. I love when that happens :) .