Cheerios

I don’t know why but for some reason when I think about having a healthy heart, I think of Cheerios. Even though the FDA warned us a few years ago that the claims on the Cheerios box and in its commercials aren’t necessarily accurate, I still can’t stop associating a healthy heart with that honey nut box of O’s.

Maybe it’s years and years of commercials dancing around in my head or the fact that when I go down the cereal aisle I’m always tempted to pick up a box because, after all, who doesn’t want to have a healthy heart? But for so many of us creating a healthy heart has far less to do with the myogenic muscular organ responsible for pumping blood through our body and a lot more to do with protecting our “heart” from allowing negative thoughts to enter.

In terms of love and feelings, when we talk about our heart we’re usually talking about the center of our being. We recognize without a heart we fail to live. And you can usually pick a person with a hardened heart out of a crowd. They’re the one that has almost nothing good to say. The world is coming to an end and the sky is falling before their very eyes.

On the other end of the spectrum is the person who walks in a room and lights it up with their smile, laughter, and overall love of life. They are the person people gravitate to and want to know more about. They have what so many are lacking and it is clear from the offset. A heart that radiates. A healthy heart.

My Spanish professor is that way. She is the strictest professor I’ve ever known and yet, her heart always shines through…especially, when talking about her husband. It seems as though at some point throughout each class, she finds a way to slip in a mention of her husband. How handsome he is or wonderful he has been or how her favorite things to do always involve her husband. I’m not too sure how long they’ve been married but judging by the age of their two adult kids I’d say somewhere around 35 years. And yet she still reminds me of a little girl experiencing her first crush on a boy.

I love seeing that. There is something about listening to a happy wife that makes me smile. And I bet you’re the same way. The sparkle in their eye, the twinkle in their smile. You can tell they’ve been eating their Cheerios!

Generally speaking, I’m a cheerful person. I’m rarely upset and do my best to keep frustrations at bay. But what I’ve learned is when I’m stressed, that light inside me quickly dims. When my schedule is too full, I seem to have less time to say hello to people walking by or smile at the person serving me at a grocery store, gas station, etc. I’m far more strict with staff and my patience is fleeting.

Yesterday, I was having a terrible day. Nothing was wrong, I just felt overwhelmed. The schedule I’d been keeping was finally catching up with me and I felt as though I was getting very little done. You know that feeling when you have so much to complete you just stare at the work wondering where to begin? All day, I felt this weight on me and couldn’t seem to shake it.

Beginning at about 1pm I could barely keep my eyes open. I was tired (even though I slept a full eight hours the night before) and was dragging through the day. This is definitely not a productive state of being. So around 4pm, I stopped what I was doing, popped in my yoga DVD and got to work. Although I was tired, I knew if I could push my body to its limit, somehow I’d feel better on the other side.

I’m a huge fan of power yoga (aka Vinyasa). I’m not a chanter, I don’t eat vegan granola and I certainly don’t speak Sanskrit, but I love yoga. I’ve been practicing it for at least 7 years now and in a perfect world I’d do it five times a week. Yesterday reminded me why. At the beginning of the video, the instructor tells viewers to place their hands in front of their heart and set an intention for their practice (this is common with all forms of yoga). My intention was to release any and all negative energy I was carrying and to finish refreshed and energized to take on the mounting pile of work on my desk.

I began with deep inhalations, inhaling the breath from my toes to the crown of my head and then exhaling it in a huge push out of my mouth. I did this several times to begin the practice and several times lying on my back to end it. Forty-five minutes later, when the video ended, I was a renewed person ready to tackle all the work before me. I prayed for wisdom in knowing how to dissect my work and still complete it all with excellence. My prayer was answered and thus began the beginning of a wonderful day – at 5pm!

When Keith called just a little while later and said, “How was your day?” I was able to answer with all honesty that it was great. It definitely started off a bit rocky but nothing I needed to bore him about. The bottom line is all was great at that moment and all had been reconciled from earlier in the day.

We all need a release. For some it’s reading a book. For some it may be running, Pilates, practicing yoga or some other form of exercise. For many it’s praying and/or meditating. For me, it’s usually a combination of yoga and prayer. Whatever it is, there are always times when we can use a boost to get over a hump.

Do you know what allows you to release negative energies in your life? Maybe it’s just me and you don’t have these experiences to which I say, “Kudos! I really want to be your friend!” But for those who do have challenging days or negative feelings that seem to come out of nowhere, how do you get over them without pulling anyone else into that space with you? When you get in a funk do you stay there or do you push your way out?

Although I don’t experience days like this often, what I’ve discovered is finding a way to deal with them without dragging my husband, family or friends down is incredibly beneficial for all. I am grateful I didn’t speak to my husband most of the day because he didn’t need to have any additional weight dropped on him. He loves me immensely so I know he would have spent time and thought trying to figure out how to make my day better. But he also has more than enough pressure at work, as do most of our husbands, so why burden him with something I could (and should) resolve myself?

This, I believe, is the thought of a healthy heart. As much as possible, I always want to give the best of myself. When things aren’t perfect and you’re feeling down, how do you encourage yourself? How do you get your heart pumping again and actively operating as your life source? Yesterday, for me it was yoga. Some days it’s breathing deeply and reminding myself over and over of how grateful I am to have a husband who loves me, a wonderful family, and the many other blessings this life has to offer.

My goal each day is to live my life to the fullest and I can only do that with a heart full of love, compassion and grace. Not just grace toward others but grace toward myself. Yesterday was tough and I promised myself that portion of the day – before I got my heart right – would be a distant memory. And after I sign off on this blog, I assure you it will be.

Until next time…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).