Marriage Mondays: 3 Easy Steps to Achieving Your Dreams {& His}

By Tricia Goyer on Monday, April 29, 2013

Believing in Your Husband's Dreams

Mega bestselling author and HWC contributor, Tricia Goyer, is our guest writer for today’s Marriage Mondays.  Enjoy! 

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I knew John was “the one” during our first date when he briefly glanced over from the steering wheel and asked one simple question, “So tell me about your dreams; what do you want to do with your life?”

The truth was, no man had ever asked me that before and I could tell it really mattered to this guy.

I told him how I wanted to finish college and become a school teacher.  My path in life took me in a different direction but because of John continuing to ask this question, and his unwavering belief in me…my life has always been an extraordinary adventure.  He helped me achieve dreams much greater than the ones I initially envisioned for myself.  

I’ve done more in our twenty-three years of marriage than I ever thought possible.

And the same is true for him.  I’m John’s biggest cheerleader and closest confidant. I can tell when he’s really thinking about something and weighing it out.  And I’m there to help because I know my words have power.

When John first voices an idea, I know any negativity on my part will fill him with worries and doubts.  But when I tell him I want to know more, and I urge him to figure out how we can make his dreams possible, it’s like adding fuel to his engine.  Dreaming with him is the spark that then sets everything ablaze.

Where has dreaming gotten us?

I’ve written 35 books (quick plug: my newest one is on sale this week for $1.99 only on Amazon **wink**), and he’s found the job of his dreams where he can use his technical skills to help marriages and families around the world.

We’ve led teams of volunteers to Europe for outreach trips—not once but three times.

We’ve made cross country moves twice, and we’ve vacationed from Alaska to Florida and from Maine to Los Angeles.

We’ve adopted three little children around the same time our older ones were leaving the nest.

I’ve helped in in his kids’ outreach, and he’s supported me as I’ve mentored teenage mothers.

It’s safe to say that together we’ve touched numerous lives, and through that we’ve grown and changed … together.

Dreaming with your spouse isn’t hard. In fact, it just takes three things:

  1. Lend a listening ear. Be open to your spouse, talking about new ideas.
  2. Have an accepting heart. Don’t immediately jump to all the problems with your spouses’ idea, consider the possibilities first.
  3. Step outside of your comfort zone. I’m willing to sacrifice my needs, give up my time, and sometimes even act like a fool with a silly hat and a puppet on my hand to support John’s dreams. But you know what? I discover more about myself in the process. I also benefit from living with a man who feels fulfilled and excited about life—which is pure joy!

Building a successful life together takes not only dreaming but supporting one another to make it happen.  Two working together can achieve more, climb higher, advance farther and in half the time.  Want to reach your dreams?  Support your husband’s.  And guess what, he will trip over himself to do the same for you.

So what about you? Does your spouse have a dream you’ve been discouraging? Next time, shut up, listen up, open up, and step out. Your man can do amazing things with you by his side!  And he’s not the only one benefiting from him achieving his dreams.  Guaranteed!

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Happy Wives Club

Tricia Goyer is a USA Today Bestselling author of 35 books who's traveled the world and interviewed everyone from crusty old cowboys to World War II veterans to discover the true stories behind her historical novels. She co-wrote her newest book, Lead Your Family Like Jesus, with NY Times Best-selling author Ken Blanchard. Tricia's a mom of six, avid blogger, and mentor to teenage mothers. You can find out more about Tricia at www.triciagoyer.com or listen to her radio podcast at: www.toginet.com/shows/livinginspired

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are snarky, offensive, or off-topic. If in doubt, read My Comment Policy
  • Bella

    Great post. It’s always nice to have a spouse act as the other’s support and very personal cheerleader. That one word of comfort can definitely make a difference. :)

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com Fawn Weaver

      Yes it is, Bella. Thanks for taking the time to post a comment!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      Yes it can!

    • http://www.facebook.com/tricia.goyer Tricia Goyer

      I have no idea where I’d be if I didn’t have him cheering me on. I have no idea where he’d be either!

  • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

    I love the three ideas Tricia, they are powerful (the whole post is). I esp love # 2 and 3 – huge possibilities when we open up and step out. That last one reminds me of that old saying – “You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” :) Wonderful post.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn Weaver

      Love that quote, Ngina! Thanks for sharing it.

    • http://www.facebook.com/tricia.goyer Tricia Goyer

      Thank you so much, Ngina! I love that quote … thanks for reminding me of it!

  • http://twitter.com/kimahall Kim Hall

    I tend to be a fixer at heart, and it has caused many problems in the past. Rather than listen and encourage, I have jumped into the possible obstacles. :-(
    I can say from personal experience that when I use the three points you mention, discussions go more smoothly, and possibilities are more apt to become reality. Thanks for the delightful reminder!

    • http://www.facebook.com/tricia.goyer Tricia Goyer

      I understand, Kim. I used to be that way! Now the roles are reversed. When I see what is possible I want to go for it! My daughter told me I’m like one of those little toy airplanes and John is the string that keeps me grounded!

      • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

        What a smart daughter you have!

    • http://twitter.com/happywivesclub Happy Wives Club™

      I’m the same way, Kim, and I have to use these three things on a regular basis (more so with others than Keith but nonetheless, I’m using them regularly :) ).