Married Couples Don’t Have Sex (Say What?!)

Single people have sex more than married couples, right?  Wrong.  I’ve heard this inaccuracy quoted over and over again, in spite of the myth being refuted more times than I can count.  So this begs the question.  Is it the Al and Peggy Bundys or Lisa (and Ken) Vanderpumps of the television world that cause us to believe this constantly debunked myth about marriage and sex?

I thought about that question several times last week after a chance encounter with an unmarried couple who were darn near having sex in public (much to the displeasure of those nearby).

I attended a birthday gathering for one of my closest friends at a hot springs spa in Corona, California.  This certainly was not a unique idea as there were dozens of all-women groups enjoying the acres of land filled with pools, jacuzzis, mineral baths, and everything else one might desire at a spa resort.

There weren’t many men there but one in particular caught our eye.  For one, it seemed as though he was filming a soft porn movie with his girlfriend right before our very eyes.  Role playing, feeling each other up and doing a few things Keith and I would only dare do in the privacy of our own home (hotel, etc).

We all decided to turn away but couldn’t help but chuckle anytime we accidentally caught a glance of this couple. It felt like we were in the middle of a prank-style television show.  Maybe we were all getting Punk’d!

During one of our group spa experiences, in an area called the Grotto, the couple began suggestively rubbing a body treatment on one another from head to toe.  At one point, the guy became so engrossed in their seductive dance that he knelt down in front of his companion, placed his head in a very interesting location, and a woman standing nearby absolutely lost it.

“Do that kind of stuff in your own house!  We didn’t pay money to come see you and your girlfriend make out!”

An argument ensued between the two strangers and raised to a feverish pitch when he egged her on with, “What’s your problem?  Are you not in a relationship or something?”

“I’m married!” she adamantly replied.  ”Oh, well that explains it,” he countered.  ”I hear married people don’t have sex.”

Let’s just say, that comment didn’t go well with all the married women nearby.  The experience was not relaxing, to say the least.  But it did get me to thinking, Where in the world did that rumor begin?

As it turns out, nearly every public study on this subject has concluded that those in marriages have sex on average more than our single counterparts.  According to a study by Newsweek, 15-20% of married couples have a sexless marriage.  That number is indeed much higher than it should be (my goodness are they missing out on a good thing).  But it’s clearly not the norm.  

There are plenty married couples who have learned the art of exploring each other’s bodies and the gift of pleasing one another.  And for those who haven’t, Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman, is a gold mine.

I’m still not sure where this myth about only single people having sex came from but let’s just say, when you come by my home, if the house is a rockin’ don’t bother knockin’.

QUESTION: Have you heard this myth stated before?  How did you respond?  (NEW: You can now leave comments on this page – just scroll down and click the Comments button)

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

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Fawn Weaver

Founder at Happy Wives Club

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today® and New York Times® bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 900,000 women in over 110 countries around the world. When she’s not blogging or working on her next project, she's happily doting over her husband of nearly eleven years, Keith.

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