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8 Great Ways to Connect With Your Spouse Today

8 Great Ways to Connect With Your Spouse Today

Connection.  For every one of us, it reveals itself in many different ways.  

For my twenty-something niece and nephew, the phone is a bit of a nuisance for anything other than taking pictures and interacting on social media or through text.  

Rather than enjoying the moment, they are busy creating the perfect picture to send out.

But for them, that is connection.  That is how they stay in touch; the way they reveal their greatest passions.

In marriage, there are so many ways to connect with your spouse.  

Really, this list could go on for days.  But there are a few that I love to use in my own relationship, and as far as connections go, if the hubby and I were any more connected, we’d be joined at the hip.

Feel free to add to this list on our community Facebook page.  Would love to hear how you and your husband connect best.  Here are 8 of my favorites:

1. Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About.  Although the great Bonnie Raitt was singing about giving other folks something to talk about in this song, I’m referring to giving your spouse something to talk about?  

What is something your spouse loves to do; something he loves to talk about.  Engage him in that subject and then take joy in hearing his excitement in that particular thing. Especially, if it’s a topic you could ordinarily care less to hear about. Showing your interest builds connection.

2. Give Your Marriage a Healthy Dose of Vitamin F2.  When the fabulous Maggie Reyes at introduced us to this new vitamin for the first time, I literally started clapping when reading her post, “Yes, yes, yes!”  Just like our bodies need vitamin A, B, C, D and a ton of others, our marriage needs a daily dose of F2.  What is Vitamin F2 you ask?  It stands for Flirt and fun and there are may, many ways to achieve that. 

3. Disconnect the Cable.  Okay, well maybe you don’t have to turn it off completely but I can’t tell you how much the connection between my husband and I increased after we decided to disconnect the cable box.  For more than two years, we were without television (with the exception of DVDs and Netflix) and it was one of the greatest experiments in connection ever.  Now, we also connect through a show we love on Netflix (we’re still several seasons behind the current one). We call it “Reagan Family Dinner,” but the rest of the world calls it Blue Bloods. We snuggle on the couch and connect with each while enjoying their Sunday family dinner ritual that happens during every episode. Even when I travel, we’ll watch an episode together remotely and then talk about it. Watching a loving family play out on TV reminds us how blessed we are to have such a loving family in real life.

4. Surprise Your Spouse for No Reason.  Have you noticed how the smallest thing becomes that much more significant once you offer it as a surprise?  For instance, if I call my husband on my way home and ask him if he’d like me to pick up his favorite dessert, he’s always extremely grateful for my thoughtfulness and will express his pleasure in that.  But if I pick up his favorite dessert and surprise him with it, he’s like a 7-year old on Christmas eve all over again.  There’s just something about those small, sweet surprises.

5. Take a Walk…Even If Only in Your Backyard.  When was the last time you grabbed your spouse by the hand and held it thereon for 30 minutes?  I haven’t researched why holding hands increases connection at such a staggering rate but it’s something about having your palm over another’s that is like having two hearts beat against one another.  There is a lifeblood there that cannot be explained; only felt.

6. Ummmm…Sex, Well Duh.  We don’t talk about sex very much on Happy Wives Club but when we do, those posts gets shared like crazy!  I think there’s a reason for that.  The connection that comes when the two…literally…become one is unlike any other bond.  The key is in enjoying it and if you’re not there yet, stick with us (and read posts like this) because once you truly begin to enjoy it, it’s really like nothing else.

7. Exercise Together.  You might be thinking, “Really, with what time?  I barely have a moment to do 5 sit-ups.”  I hear you!  Been there, experienced that.  Here are a few quick and easy workouts you can do.  But if you can go for a run together, do push-ups together, whatever – just have fun with it.  The great thing about exercising (even if for only 15 minutes) is you will both release endorphins at the same time and those fabulous “happy hormones,” are pretty fantastic to enjoy with your best friend.

8. Read a book together.  Keith and I just finished reading two books together: Slowing Down to the Speed of Life and Tyranny of the Urgent. And I have to say, I’m so glad we spent a portion of our holiday vacation reading these books because they’ve given us such perspective to begin in 2016. The first book reminded us why slowing down is the most wise thing we can do for our health, business and our marriage. And the second book, a tiny pamphlet really, gave us quick tools to immediately put what we’d just read into practice. These books may be for you, maybe not, but either way, finding one you can both love will give you something great to talk about.

QUESTION: So what other things do you do to connect with your spouse? Join hundreds of thousands of members of this club on our Facebook page and let us know your thoughts.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day! 

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the argument free marriage book


THE BOOK: Read the book that inspired the powerful TED talk and prompted author of The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman, PhD., to write the book’s foreword. Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts said, “We’ve been counseling couples and writing marriage books for a long time, and we can say with absolute certainty, there has never been a book quite like The Argument-Free Marriage. If you think no such union exists, or if you’ve come to the conclusion that arguments are necessary in marriage, allow Fawn to challenge that notion and set you on a path to creating the greatest partnership in life: your marriage.”

Fawn Weaver is the USA Today and New York Times bestselling author of Happy Wives Club: One Woman's Worldwide Search for the Secrets of a Great Marriage, adopting the same name as the Club she founded in 2010. The Happy Wives Club community has grown to include more than 1 million women in over 110 countries around the world. She’s an investor in real estate, tech sector and lifestyle brands. When she’s not writing or working, she's happily doting over her husband of twelve years, Keith (and sometimes manages to do all three simultaneously).

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