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How to Make Date Nights Happen When You’re Parents: Kid Swap!!

How to Make Date Night Happen When You're Parents - Kid Swap 101

When I posted The Fun Dare: 12 Dates in 12 Days challenge, many parents were discouraged; it’s as if they were missing out on all the fun.

Even when I suggested modifying most of the dates to stay-at-home, and spreading the 12 dates out over 12 consecutive weeks, some still couldn’t wrap their brain around how this could be done with children.  

I didn’t have the solution until US Olympian Annett Davis posted a comment saying exactly how she and her husband of eighteen years were going to pull this off.  

I immediately sent her a text and asked if she’d share their brilliant practice with you.  Get ready…this is gooooood.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

Email Signature transparent

____________

I know what you are thinking.  I have kids, I can’t do one date night, let alone the 12 suggested in The Fun Dare!  Think again.  I’ve got two words for you…Kid Swap!!!

On a beautiful fall day 18 years ago I married the man of my dreams.  We purposefully waited before trying to have children. Why?  Because we wanted to enjoy each other every day, selfishly, without having to care for little ones.

Fast forward to today.  We are actually more happily married than we were in the beginning, and now have two amazing children.  Sure spontaneity went out the window the moment we had kids, but that didn’t mean our fun date nights had to go with it, and neither does yours.

What’s a couple to do?

Kid Swap 101

A few years ago we came up with a fabulous idea.  We have a neighborhood full of amazing folks with kids around the same age as ours.  Our kids have been playing together for years.  One day it hit us.  Why in the world were we forking out $30 or more per date night, just for the babysitter, when we could be babysitting each others kids, for free?!?!

Here’s how the kid swap works. 

1.  Find a friend or neighbor that you trust with your kids. 

2.  Pick a day and time that works best for both couples.  It’s okay to have a daytime date.  There’s no rule that says you have to go out after 7pm. :)   Sometimes with little ones dates work better during the daytime so that it doesn’t interfere with their nighttime routine.

3.  If your child has allergies, make sure you bring your own snacks to share.  You can also take your children’s favorite toys, games, or movies to ensure a good time.

4.  Make this a regular occurrence, not just a one time thing.  In my case, my neighbor Ani takes our kids every Friday night so that my husband and I can go out.  Then on Saturday night we take her kids.  The children play games, watch movies, have snacks, they have a blast! What kid wouldn’t want two extended play dates with their friends every week?

We all know that date nights are extremely important.  Not only are we kindling the flames of our relationship with our mates, but our children are learning something important too.  When you go out on a date, your child sees how much you value each other.  They see that your relationship with your mate is so great that you do lots of fun, cool, and amazing things together to keep it going. 

What a marvelous example we set for our children. My daughter’s eyes light up, in a Disney Princess type of way, whenever I tell her that her father and I are going on a date. She wants me to dress up, and wear make-up for him.  I love how excited she gets seeing us date.  Doing a weekly kid swap makes this happen much more often than it used to, it has certainly made our marriage sizzle.  We are going to use the kid swap to do The Fun Dare, and I hope you do too!

QUESTION: How do you make sure your date night happens? Tell us on our community Facebook page where over a million women join us.

##

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Happy Wives Club Book

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book like none other.  Guaranteed.

By Annett Davis
By Annett Davis
1 of 33

How to Make Date Nights Happen When You’re Parents: Kid Swap!!

How to Make Date Night Happen When You're Parents - Kid Swap 101

When I posted The Fun Dare: 12 Dates in 12 Days challenge, many parents were discouraged; it’s as if they were missing out on all the fun.

Even when I suggested modifying most of the dates to stay-at-home, and spreading the 12 dates out over 12 consecutive weeks, some still couldn’t wrap their brain around how this could be done with children.  

I didn’t have the solution until US Olympian Annett Davis posted a comment saying exactly how she and her husband of eighteen years were going to pull this off.  

I immediately sent her a text and asked if she’d share their brilliant practice with you.  Get ready…this is gooooood.

Until Monday…make it a great weekend!

Email Signature transparent

____________

I know what you are thinking.  I have kids, I can’t do one date night, let alone the 12 suggested in The Fun Dare!  Think again.  I’ve got two words for you…Kid Swap!!!

On a beautiful fall day 18 years ago I married the man of my dreams.  We purposefully waited before trying to have children. Why?  Because we wanted to enjoy each other every day, selfishly, without having to care for little ones.

Fast forward to today.  We are actually more happily married than we were in the beginning, and now have two amazing children.  Sure spontaneity went out the window the moment we had kids, but that didn’t mean our fun date nights had to go with it, and neither does yours.

What’s a couple to do?

Kid Swap 101

A few years ago we came up with a fabulous idea.  We have a neighborhood full of amazing folks with kids around the same age as ours.  Our kids have been playing together for years.  One day it hit us.  Why in the world were we forking out $30 or more per date night, just for the babysitter, when we could be babysitting each others kids, for free?!?!

Here’s how the kid swap works. 

1.  Find a friend or neighbor that you trust with your kids. 

2.  Pick a day and time that works best for both couples.  It’s okay to have a daytime date.  There’s no rule that says you have to go out after 7pm. :)   Sometimes with little ones dates work better during the daytime so that it doesn’t interfere with their nighttime routine.

3.  If your child has allergies, make sure you bring your own snacks to share.  You can also take your children’s favorite toys, games, or movies to ensure a good time.

4.  Make this a regular occurrence, not just a one time thing.  In my case, my neighbor Ani takes our kids every Friday night so that my husband and I can go out.  Then on Saturday night we take her kids.  The children play games, watch movies, have snacks, they have a blast! What kid wouldn’t want two extended play dates with their friends every week?

We all know that date nights are extremely important.  Not only are we kindling the flames of our relationship with our mates, but our children are learning something important too.  When you go out on a date, your child sees how much you value each other.  They see that your relationship with your mate is so great that you do lots of fun, cool, and amazing things together to keep it going. 

What a marvelous example we set for our children. My daughter’s eyes light up, in a Disney Princess type of way, whenever I tell her that her father and I are going on a date. She wants me to dress up, and wear make-up for him.  I love how excited she gets seeing us date.  Doing a weekly kid swap makes this happen much more often than it used to, it has certainly made our marriage sizzle.  We are going to use the kid swap to do The Fun Dare, and I hope you do too!

QUESTION: How do you make sure your date night happens? Tell us on our community Facebook page where over a million women join us.

##

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

Happy Wives Club Book

 

THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book.  I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way.  It’s a marriage book like none other.  Guaranteed.

 
By Morgan Sims
2 of 33

9 Date Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank

Coming up with fresh date ideas when you’re married can be tough.  Having to be mindful of a budget can make it even tougher.

But there are a number of things you and your hubby can do together that are fun, exciting and won’t break the bank. All you need is a little ingenuity and an open mind.  

Volunteer

Giving back to the community isn’t only fulfilling (both for yourself and others), but it’s a great way to meet and talk to people from different backgrounds who will stimulate your senses and satisfy your entertainment needs.

It’s a great opportunity for you and your husband to spend some time together, while sharing an amazing experience and giving back to your community. It also offers the opportunity to meet new people and learn more about others.

Also, concerts, festivals and other types of events are always looking for volunteers. If you’re into the music scene, this is the perfect solution to getting to hear your favorite tunes while not having to pay for it.

If you don’t quite know where to volunteer or how to get started, try resources like Volunteer Match to find an organization near you.

Play a Game

Okay, this idea may seem a little stale, but you will really be surprised by the number of laughs you and your man will share.  It’s the perfect excuse to order a pizza, grab some cheap beer or wine, and break out a game like Scattergories or Life. It can be played as many or as few times as you’re interested in, and the results can be quite hilarious. They also aren’t so competitive that you’ll end up bitter at each other (cough, cough, Monopoly).  

Plant a Garden

Growing your own garden isn’t just entertaining, it’s good for the environment and helps you save money, not to mention spruces up your home’s exterior. If you’re a couple that likes being outdoors and active, this is a great way to spend the day together and be productive. Head to your local nursery and pick out a variety of plants and flowers to plant in the ground or for a lesser commitment, in big, beautiful pots.

All-Out Movie Night

For a relaxing and indulgent Friday night after a hectic week, plan a movie night… but not just your regular DVD and microwave popcorn movie night. Get a cheap bottle of wine, make some caramel popcorn, bring bed pillows out to the living room, light some candles and put on your favorite pajamas.

Rather than having to go out to rent a movie or watch one you’ve seen a hundred times, utilize the movies offered by your cable provider or services like Hulu or Netflix. Movies are brand new, well-priced and involve no extra effort to watch. These little details can make a standard movie night into a romantic and relaxing night in.

Flea Market Finds

If your man is game, get up early on a weekend, grab a cup of coffee and head out to your local flea market. The opportunity to find something unique and affordable for your home is something you both will love. Turn it into a contest to see who can find and repurpose the best piece; channel your inner HGTV hosts and see what your imagination is capable of.

Drinks & Dessert

Don’t you hate when you go to a restaurant and at the end of the night they give you the dessert menu and you’re either too full or too money conscious to order one of the decadent treats? Make that a date! Eat a light meal at home, then head out to your favorite restaurant to enjoy a glass of wine and share a fantastic dessert.

Baby/Pet Sitting

Have friends with kids or a dog, but you don’t? Do them a favor and offer to take their kid(s) (either fur or human!) for a few hours on a weekend. Take the kids to a museum, park, or aquarium, or take a hike with their pooch. It’ll give you and your husband a chance to get a glimpse into life with children, while giving your friends a much needed break.

Cook-Off

Do you and your husband have a favorite food show? Try recreating it together, and inviting a friend or two over to be the judge. Make a spending and time limit for both and get to cookin’! You’ll end up with two fabulous meals (great for leftovers!) and the chance to spend time together. If you’re not feeling competitive, assign one of you to the main course and the other to sides and appetizers and collaborate for an awesome meal.

Coupons

Want to do a traditional dinner date, but are afraid of the bill? Check sites like Groupon and Living Social to find deals on restaurants in your area. Many have deals that offer discounts on your entire meal, free appetizers, or coupons that give you double the money (Pay $15, get a $30 gift card). It will also encourage you to try new spots.

 

 
By Fawn Weaver
3 of 33

100+ Great Date Night Ideas

Planning a fun date night isn’t always as easy as it sounds–especially when you feel like you’ve been there, done that for just about every outing in your town. The Nest has started you off with 6 dates under $15. Follow the link at the end of the post for even more ideas!

1. Fiesta Night

Pretend you’re south of the border and create your own happy hour.

Margarita mix: $2
Tequila: $8
Chips and salsa: $5
Total: $15

 

 

2. Roman Holiday
Sometimes the best dates are the most relaxed ones. Mangia!
2 slices of pizza: $5
1 bottle of Three-Buck Chuck: $3
Ice cream for 2: $6
Total: $14

3. Fashion Show
She loves Project Runway, he loves Heidi Klum. Combine your passion for fashion — then take it all off at home.
Trying on ridiculous outfits at a vintage store: free

Disposable camera: $6
Total: $6

4. Movie Mania
Have the gang over for a BYOB movie night — but save the make out session for later.

Renting Old School: $5
Booze brought by friends: free
Going streaking through the quad: optional
Popcorn for 20: $10
Total: $15

5. People-Watching
Pick a beautiful day to chill at the park and take in the beauty (and freaks!) of nature.

2 grande lattes: $7
2 croissants: $4
Bench: free
Total: $11

6. Bubbles and Bubbly
Hot tubs are overrated! There’s fun to be had in your very own bathroom.

Bath salts: $5
Bottle of prosecco: $10
Getting clean and being dirty at the same time: priceless
Total: $15

For more ideas, including 20 dates under $20, 10 ways to surprise your spouse, 10 hot, hot, hot date ideas plus much more, check out more great date night ideas here.

 
By Paula Rollo
4 of 33

Date Night on a Dime: 10 Ways to Have Date Night on the Cheap!

Finances can often be a huge hindrance for couples wanting to have a consistent date night. The desire may be there, but that doesn’t mean it is always do-able financially!

I don’t work outside of the home, and we have 2 young kids, so my husband and I have definitely learned to get creative when it comes to making date night work for us! Today, I’m sharing some of our secrets!!!

Here are my top 10 ways to have date night on the cheap!

    • Share an entree.

    • Skip the sodas/alcohol & order water.

    • Dress up like you are going to a 5 star restaurant, but eat at a local deli instead.

    • Stay home and play some board games. Go on a romantic nature walk.

    • Add “date night” into your monthly budget. Save a few dollars each week until you have enough for a fancy dinner date.

    • Swap free babysitting and date night weekends with another couple.

    • Have dinner out but rent a movie instead of going to a theatre.

    • Go to a movie earlier in the day to get cheaper tickets.

*Bonus tip* – If finding a babysitter is an issue, try ordering take out and having a date night at home after the kids are in bed. You could dress up, dim the lights and have a romantic candle lit dinner in your own dining room!

 
By Crystal Brothers
5 of 33

At Home Date Night On a Budget

When my husband and I were newly married, we received some wonderful advice from a great couple.

They told us that they’d been having a weekly date night for 20+ years of marriage. As newlyweds, we decided to be intentional about a weekly date night.

After we became parents, my mom was more than happy to babysit for a couple of hours each Friday night so we could continue the tradition. 

So, for our first 7+ years of marriage, we have had a date night every single week!

Then, we moved away from my hometown. We’re now 2 hours from one set of grandparents, nearly 6 from the other. No more easy babysitter!  Couple that with a tight budget, and we knew we needed to get creative!

This is why I invented the no-prep, at-home, low-cost date – that I affectionately call the “Dessert Date”.  Thinking it was a great idea, I wanted to share it with you!

Everything for this date can be done within about 5-10 minutes. 

I thought it would be fun to make this a surprise for my hubby. So, I waited until the boys were in bed and hubby was in the shower, and then got to work.

The first thing I did was to lay out some nice clothes for him on the bed, with a handwritten note saying, “Put these on, and meet me in the kitchen.” Next, I put on some nice clothes myself and dusted on some make up.

I found the champagne glasses from our wedding, along with a couple of napkins, and a copy of the invitation from that day. If you don’t have glasses from your wedding, substitute what you do have.

You could also use a nice quote about love or marriage printed out, instead of your invitation. We don’t drink alchohol, so I bought some sparkling grape juice to go in the glasses.

I prepared my super quick, super yummy strawberry cream desserts.

Finally, I found the mix of love songs that played during our wedding reception. 

Honestly, because of the effort put into it,  this felt much more like a “real” date, than some of our out-to-eat, followed by a stop at Walmart “dates.” 

We had a lovely time staring into each others eyes like newlyweds.

The entire prep for this date happened during the short time that my hubby was in the shower, making it a very low-stress date. It was also very inexpensive – around $5 or so. And between the fancy plated desserts, the champagne glasses, candle light, and all of our wedding reminders, it was very romantic.

We both remember it fondly as one of our favorite dates ever — going out included.

If you’re needing some alone time with your husband, but don’t have the resources or babysitter for a night out, I would encourage you to get creative!  

You can make great memories right where you are.

What’s your favorite date night?

 
By Paula Rollo
6 of 33

The BEST 2 Player Games for Date Night!

Since my husband and I have young children, the majority of our date nights are spent at home.

We do try to go out on a date once a month, but we still make an effort to spend time together at least once a week, interacting with one another, without distractions (such as TV or internet).

While we try to spend quality time together more than once a week, we are sticklers about getting at least 1 night in a week, regardless of our busy schedules. 

Game night is one of our absolute favorites for weekly fun. It’s been a challenge to find games that translate well to 2-player versions.

Several games that I enjoyed growing up, just don’t work with only 2 people. We’ve finally gotten a good collection of really awesome board games that work with 2 players. 

Here are a few of our favorites, so you can start working on your own collection of games for date night!

Best 2 Player Games for Date Night

Dominion – This will always be one of my favorite games! It can be played with up to four players, but works really well with just two! It’s a card game, we’ve played it for several years now and still love it! There are many expansions for the game (intrigue, seaside, hinterlands etc.) and they all add so much to the game! We’ve purchased each expansion as it came out and I have trouble choosing a favorite! 

Fluxx - This is a game that must be played with a good sense of humor. The rules are constantly changing, along with the goal of the game! It’s another card game that certainly will keep you laughing and keep you on your toes! We recently bought the “martian fluxx” variant and definitely prefer that version to the original. 

Glory to Rome - This is one of the more complicated card games, I’m still trying to wrap my head around playing it well, but it’s definitely fun! You each build your own buildings and try to come out on top! There are multiple ways to score points in this game, so it’s a challenge to choose which strategy to go with. It also makes the game fun though, because you never have to play it the same way twice!

Race for the Galaxy - This has always been one of my husband’s favorite games, but I’ll be honest, it took me awhile to get on board. I love the game now, but there’s definitely a steep learning curve to it, and it may take awhile before you really feel like you can play it well. 

Carcassone - This was one of the first games we purchased together (about 4 years ago) and we’re still getting lots of enjoyment out of it! Carcassone is a tile-laying game, and it allows you to build cities, roads, farms and cloisters and connect them to one another to gain points. Very fun game, and it’s always neat to see all the scenery that you’ve built together at the end of the game!

Famiglia - Another card game, this time the cards represent different “mobster” families. Each color card allows you to do a different action, and thereby gain better cards into your “family”. It’s simple to learn, but there’s a surprising amount of strategy involved!

Pandemic - This game is unique because, instead of playing against one another, you are on a team against the game! It’s shockingly difficult and a lot of fun to get to work together in a game instead of having to compete. There’s also nothing quite like trying to save the world from multiple viruses! You really feel like you’ve accomplished something awesome together when you win this game!

Tigris & Euphrates - This game is truly one of our favorites. It has a longer play-time than most, but it’s definitely worth the time! You play on one board and build your own little kingdoms by laying tiles of various colors. You are then able to join kingdoms or invade one another, and gain points. It’s a very interesting game, especially since you don’t know how many points the other player has earned until the end of the game! 

Suburbia - This is one of our newer games. It’s also a tile laying game, but instead of building farms or roads you create buildings for your city. The strategy is in which tiles you put where, as well as which tiles you choose to build. We only purchased this one a few weeks ago but it’s already a favorite! 

Agricola - Remember that popular Farming game on Facebook awhile back? This is a game that is very similar, but with lots more strategy! You are a farmer, and you must build your hut, farm your land, raise cattle and feed your family! It’s a very interesting game and quite the challenge!

Zertz, Yinsh & Dvonn - These games are more abstract than the others I’ve listed. Instead of having a theme or story to them, they are pure strategy (like chess or checkers, but more fun). These games can be bought separately and played as a single game, or can be combined with a couple other games in the series to form a huge tournament. We currently own two in the series and are working our way up to have the whole collection. They are quicker games and deceptively difficult! 

I’ve created a list on amazon with all of the games, so you can find them easily, instead of needing to do multiple searches. This is an affiliate link to my 2 player games list on Amazon. 

These are our absolute favorite 2 player games! Have you ever heard of any of them? Share with us on the Happy Wives Club Facebook page.

We’d love to hear about your favorites!

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Date Nights

How to Make Date Nights Happen When You’re Parents: Kid Swap!!

When I posted The Fun Dare: 12 Dates in 12 Days challenge, many parents were discouraged; it’s as if they were missing out on all the …

9 Date Ideas That Won’t Break the Bank

Coming up with fresh date ideas when you’re married can be tough.  Having to be mindful of a budget can make it even tougher. But there …

100+ Great Date Night Ideas

Planning a fun date night isn’t always as easy as it sounds–especially when you feel like you’ve been there, done that for just about every outing …

Date Night on a Dime: 10 Ways to Have Date Night on the Cheap!

Finances can often be a huge hindrance for couples wanting to have a consistent date night. The desire may be there, but that doesn’t mean it …

At Home Date Night On a Budget

When my husband and I were newly married, we received some wonderful advice from a great couple. They told us that they’d been having a weekly …

The BEST 2 Player Games for Date Night!

Since my husband and I have young children, the majority of our date nights are spent at home. We do try to go out on a …

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are snarky, offensive, or off-topic. If in doubt, read My Comment Policy
  • SaCh’e Events&Design

    Awesome ideas! My event company is dedicated to creating special events to strengthen marriages. Date night (quality time) is a must. Thank you for this beautiful purpose. God Bless

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Love the idea of what your company is doing! Very cool.

  • ANASTASIS Marriage Ministry

    These are great ideas, some my husband and I have done, others we will do. We are facilitators of a marriage ministry and we will share some of these ideas with the couples so they can “keep it fresh”! Thank you so much and God Bless.

  • JB Guidotti

    He was really surprised about the “date night” I set up for us! It really melts my heart to see him that happy. I’m so glad and honored to be part of this club. God Bless!

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      That looks amazing!! He’s a happy camper. Love seeing that :) .

  • Yolanda

    My husband and I will be celebrating our first anniversary on Valentine’s Day. I was looking for things to do when I found this website. This is awesome. I don’t know anyone talking about this site, so I will be the one to pass it around. I am so excited. I will also learn from those of you who are experienced in marriage.

    • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

      Thanks for spreading the word, Yolanda! Appreciate you.

  • rheanna

    Hello there, can i ask your help..im planing to have a date with my husband on skype because his in abroad and i want this coming valentines day to become speacial..i hope you guys can help me..Thanks in advance..God bless..

  • Nicole

    My husband and I have been married for 10 years now and well, we don’t seem to have anything to talk about. When we do a date night we rarely speak other than the boring everyday activities, which take less than five minutes to cover. I’ve tried asking questions that I think he could elaborate on but I just end up getting yes, no, or short answers versus sparking a conversation. Any suggestions on how to find things to talk about after 10 years? I’ve also tried not saying anything to see if he’ll start the conversation and it usually sounds like crickets. I Would love to hear from those who may have had this happen in their marriages and any suggestions to spark conversation.

    • Stephanie

      I think setting an intention to connect and letting him know that you are spending this quality time with him to do so helps set the stage. Let him know you care about him and whats going on in his inner world, his hopes and dreams, concerns etc. Take some pressure off yourself to have a busy conversation and just let your time together flow and see what happens. We are celebrating our 17th anniversary this month and know that designated time alone together is what helps us connect the most. For us it’s usually the hour we lay in bed before falling asleep but its also that time away from home (there’s always something to be done) a walk in the park or mall, dinner out, that kind of thing. Sometimes we don’t talk much but just having that time together that we know we are there for each other is just what we need. Good luck!

      • http://www.happywivesclub.com/ Fawn @ Happy Wives Club

        Such great advice, Stephanie! Thanks.

  • T. Wykoff

    My husband and I are newly weds, we married Dec 31, 2013. He works offshore and spends many days and night away. Some times it maybe 3 months at a time away from home. So I try to do something special a couple of nights before he leaves out. Before he left this time, I went and picked up a bottle of champagne and some strawberries. I went into our bedroom while he was watching tv, set it all up, light music, candles, with the champagne and strawberries. So when he said he was coming to bed he walked into a very relaxed room and was surprised at what I did without him knowing. We just simply sit on the bed, talked about everything, and enjoyed the time of sharing the day. So, today I was surprised to see a post on his FB page. He doesn’t post much on his page, but him being away in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico….it made me an even more….Happy Wife.