Author Archives: Paula Rollo

About Paula Rollo

Paula Rollo: Paula & her hubby have been happily married for 4 years. They decided to tie the knot after knowing each other for just 35 days! They now have 2 rambunctious kiddos known as Little Man (2) and The Princess (7 mos). The family resides in Texas in a small but lively apartment. Paula and her hubby love to play board games, take long walks with the kids and they both LOVE the Texas heat! Paula also has a passion for writing. Her compositions have been featured many places around the web, including her own blog Beauty Through Imperfection where she writes about motherhood and strives to be an encourager through her writing.

5 Ways to Prepare Your Marriage for a New Baby

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If you’ve visited here for some time, you likely know the hubby and I have been on a long, windy road to pregnancy.

Nearly thirteen years of marriage. Quite a few fertility treatments. No baby yet. But we remain incredibly hopeful (and happy) as we keep trying. That’s why I love reading posts like this one from blogger, Paula Rollo.

They help me understand what to expect and allow us to talk about these things even before my hormones go a bit nutty .

If you have your own special package on its way, congratulations! You will be able to begin putting these suggestions to practice right away. Excited for you, my friend.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

____________

With a baby on the way, it can be easy to let marriage slip to the back burner.

Babies require a lot of time, attention and energy, so it is important for couples to put alot of effort into their marriage, both before and after the baby is born.

Doing this will help ensure the marriage relationship continues to grow stronger in the midst of all the life transitions that come with the birth of a new bundle of joy!

Wondering what you can do to get ready?

Here are 5 ways to prepare your marriage for a new baby:

1. Enhanced Communication. Communication has always been an important part of marriage, but it becomes more essential as your family grows. Long and intricate conversations with your spouse will now be interrupted by baby’s feedings and diaper changes.

Take some time to find new ways to communicate your love and needs to one another, without beating around the bush or trying to rely on subtle hints. Loving honesty and truthful conversations are important, now more than ever.

2. Respect the Hormones. Wives, I’m talking to you! The pregnancy hormones may calm down after baby is born, but that doesn’t mean you are free and clear.

It may take several weeks or even months for your hormones to get back to normal, especially if you are breastfeeding. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself still being a bit weepy or sensitive. That’s okay!

The key here is to be able to identify when the hormones are making you feel wonky, and allow yourself a break. If you realize you are getting annoyed or irritated with your husband, step back for a moment and think. Chances are your hormones are just acting up and your hubby is not to blame.

In our family, it helped a lot when I was able to tell my husband something like “I’m not really mad at you, my hormones are just making me feel bad right now.” When I did this, he was able to support and love on me, instead of feeling the need to get defensive about something he said (or did) that wouldn’t have mattered if my hormones weren’t being crazy.

Respect the hormones, and find ways to clue your hubby in that you may be having a hormonal day! Those days are hard on the hubbies too, not just the wives.

3. Priorities. When baby comes, you will both find yourselves very tired, and scrambling for time to complete your normal activities. It is a good practice to identify the most important things to each of you, so that you can both try to prioritize accordingly.

If you’re usually the one who cleans and only have time to tidy one room today, do you know which one would mean the most to your husband to have cleaned? If given the choice, does he know if you would prefer a home-cooked meal from him, or all the laundry washed and put away? Do neither of you really care if the bed is made, or the floors vacuumed?

Take the time to discuss these things before they become issues, and don’t waste your energy on the things that don’t matter as much to either of you. There will be days when neither of you can keep up with everything that you used to do, this is normal and the season will pass eventually. Knowing your partner’s pet peeves and specific desires can help reduce stress and eliminate disagreements during this transitional season of life.

4. Lower your standards - I know that sounds bad, but hear me out. Before baby, you had more time and money to spend on date nights or simple evenings of relaxation together. Once baby is born, it might (read: likely) become more difficult to get out of the house or even to spend a full evening cuddling together on the couch without interruption. Lower your expectations for at least a few months, and learn to find joy in the time that you do get to spend together.

It may not be at a 5-star restaurant, but a quiet dinner at home while the baby sleeps, can be just as romantic! Remember that the important thing is time together, regardless of where or when that time is spent! (Check out this post for 10 fun home date night ideas that are perfect for post-baby dating!)

5. The 3 month wait. If at any time (or all the time!) you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or worried about what your life is becoming, don’t fret! Give it a few weeks. Things change fast with a baby, and chances are in 3 months or so, you will be feeling a lot more rested, calm and confident as parents. This baby business can be hard work, but it does get easier, I promise!

Don’t be too hard on yourself, or your spouse if things don’t immediately flow perfectly. Learning and growing together means working through the rough times and the crazy bumps that life throws at us. A baby changes everything, but that is not a bad thing. Marriage can get stronger and sweeter with time and with babies! It might take a bit of extra work to keep those butterflies going, but it will be more than worth it!

Looking for more tips? Check out this post to learn 7 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive After the Baby is Born.

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THE NEW YORK TIMES® BEST-SELLING BOOK: It’s been described as, “Like Eat, Pray, Love but not down on marriage.” Make sure to check out the Happy Wives Club book. I had the great honor of traveling to 12 countries on 6 continents, interviewing couples happily married 25 years or more, with 1 mission only: to find out what makes marriages happy…and keeps them that way. It’s a marriage book line none other. Guaranteed.

Watch Closely…Or You May Miss the Best Marriage Advice Never Told

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I often ask friends, family and members of the Happy Wives Community this one question:

“What is the best marriage advice you’ve ever received?”

When I posed this question to marriage and mommy blogger, Paula Rollo, it took her the shortest amount of time to write this response.

After I finished reading Paula’s post on the best marriage advice never told, I emailed her and said, “Your post just gave me Goosebumps!” Because it did. You’ll see why…just scroll down.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

_____________

My husband and I received a bit more than our fair share of strange advice when we got married. It wasn’t all negative, but when you get married 35 days after you meet there are definitely more than a few naysayers.

We did, however, have many supporters and received lots of sweet cards with wonderful words of encouragement and advice.

I can tell you verbatim some of the bad advice we got, simply because it struck me, even at age 18, that “this would never work!” Strangely, I can’t recall much of the positive advice we received.

Looking back, the most important guidance we received for our marriage, was not found in a witty one liner, or an inspirational quote about love. Nope, the advice that remains firm in my mind was found elsewhere.

It’s the way my great grandmother would smile fondly (and roll her eyes) as my great grandfather told a corny joke that she had probably already heard a couple thousand times.

The advice I cherish is found in the way he’d grin at her and say “Oh, but this is the way we like dinner tonight dear” when she would fret over slightly burned bread or meat that was just a hint too dry.

The most important lessons I’ve ever learned about marriage came from watching our loved ones love each other.

From my in-laws who are two of the most loving and understanding people around, to our young friends who steal glances at each other with so much meaning in their eyes.

If you take the time to look, you can feel the love radiating off of couples. It’s beautiful and it’s wonderful.

Our marriages don’t all “work” the same way, but there are a few things we’ve all got figured out. Loving one another, cherishing each other, working together. Building our lives as one.

I’ve always been a person who learns visually, and that might be why I glean so much, just from watching people love each other.

I never got personal marriage advice from my great-grandparents, as my great-grandfather was already gone by the time I wed, but their lives taught me more about marriage, simply by watching them love than any beautiful words they ever could have uttered to me face-to-face.

To sum it up, what is the best marriage advice I’ve ever gotten? To live in love.

Live reflecting the love that you share, the love that you are building together. You never know, it could make all the difference in the lives of the younger generation as they watch you love your spouse! I know it has in mine.

COMMENTS: Has the way that someone has shown love to their spouse inspired you? Share in the comments on our Facebook community page where thousands of women connect with each other daily.

Date Night on a Dime: 10 Ways to Have Date Night on the Cheap!

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Finances can often be a huge hindrance for couples wanting to have a consistent date night. The desire may be there, but that doesn’t mean it is always do-able financially!

I don’t work outside of the home, and we have 2 young kids, so my husband and I have definitely learned to get creative when it comes to making date night work for us! Today, I’m sharing some of our secrets!!!

Here are my top 10 ways to have date night on the cheap!

Share an entree.
Skip the sodas/alcohol & order water.
Dress up like you are going to a 5 star restaurant, but eat at a local deli instead.
Stay home and play some board games. Go on a romantic nature walk.
Add “date night” into your monthly budget. Save a few dollars each week until you have enough for a fancy dinner date.
Swap free babysitting and date night weekends with another couple.
Have dinner out but rent a movie instead of going to a theatre.
Go to a movie earlier in the day to get cheaper tickets.

*Bonus tip* – If finding a babysitter is an issue, try ordering take out and having a date night at home after the kids are in bed. You could dress up, dim the lights and have a romantic candle lit dinner in your own dining room!

7 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive After Baby is Born

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If you’ve been reading this blog for any period of time, you likely know my pathway to children has been a windy one. That’s why I’m so grateful for all the wonderful contributors of this club who give a beautiful perspective on remaining blissful in marriage…even after children.

Enjoy one of our favorite bloggers, Paula Rollo.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

———————

Life with a newborn can be challenging, never mind trying to keep the romance alive in marriage, knowing full well that the baby could interrupt at any moment. So what’s a couple to do?

Alex and I have successfully made it through the newborn stage twice in less than 3 years, so I’m here to share a few tips for keeping the romance alive and the marriage strong, even with tiny babies!

Plan Ahead - Before kids, you could go out on a date whenever you wanted or stay up all night chatting, with a baby, it takes a lot of planning ahead to make any of that happen, but it can still be done!
Expect Plans to change - All the planning in the world can’t change a sick baby or a sleepless night! Many times the best laid plans will fall to pieces, don’t get discouraged when this happens, just keep trying!
Date Night - After baby comes along, date night becomes much more complex; organizing babysitters, bottles and bedtimes it can sometimes seem like more of a hassle than it’s worth, but don’t neglect it! If you don’t have a sitter, there are some fun ways to bring date night to your house, and have a romantic night in! All it takes is a little imagination and the desire to make it happen.
Take a Nap - It sounds silly but sometimes napping can be important to a marriage! If you run yourself ragged taking care of kids all day (and night), by the time your spouse comes home you have nothing left to offer. Don’t let yourself feel guilty if you need a nap, taking time to rest is good for you, and your marriage!
Talk about it - Keeping the lines of communication open is important now, more than ever before. Discuss the challenges you are each facing as you create your new life, warn each other if you are having a rough day and find creative ways to support each other through it all! A little chat can go a long way in keeping the romance alive.
Remember your spouse - After my kids were born, it was so easy for me to get wrapped up in their needs, and even my own that I would forget that my husband had needs too. Take time to think about your spouse and ways you can show him love, the extra effort may take a bit of energy, but it will be well worth it to let him know how much you love and appreciate him!
Be patient - Even though it feels like it might, this season of life won’t last forever, the baby won’t always keep you up all night and you will have energy again (yes, even before the kids are out of the house!).

Marriage does change a lot after baby, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Take it from Alex and me, we know.

COMMENTS: Name one thing you do to keep your relationship fresh. Drop your comment on the Happy Wives Club Facebook page where hundreds of thousands of women engage daily.

THE BOOK: Read the book that inspired the powerful TED talk and prompted author of The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman, PhD., to write the book’s foreword. Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts said, “We’ve been counseling couples and writing marriage books for a long time, and we can say with absolute certainty, there has never been a book quite like The Argument-Free Marriage. If you think no such union exists, or if you’ve come to the conclusion that arguments are necessary in marriage, allow Fawn to challenge that notion and set you on a path to creating the greatest partnership in life: your marriage.”

The BEST 2 Player Games for Date Night!

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Since my husband and I have young children, the majority of our date nights are spent at home.

We do try to go out on a date once a month, but we still make an effort to spend time together at least once a week, interacting with one another, without distractions (such as TV or internet).

While we try to spend quality time together more than once a week, we are sticklers about getting at least 1 night in a week, regardless of our busy schedules.

Game night is one of our absolute favorites for weekly fun. It’s been a challenge to find games that translate well to 2-player versions.

Several games that I enjoyed growing up, just don’t work with only 2 people. We’ve finally gotten a good collection of really awesome board games that work with 2 players.

Here are a few of our favorites, so you can start working on your own collection of games for date night!

Best 2 Player Games for Date Night

Dominion – This will always be one of my favorite games! It can be played with up to four players, but works really well with just two! It’s a card game, we’ve played it for several years now and still love it! There are many expansions for the game (intrigue, seaside, hinterlands etc.) and they all add so much to the game! We’ve purchased each expansion as it came out and I have trouble choosing a favorite!

Fluxx - This is a game that must be played with a good sense of humor. The rules are constantly changing, along with the goal of the game! It’s another card game that certainly will keep you laughing and keep you on your toes! We recently bought the “martian fluxx” variant and definitely prefer that version to the original.

Glory to Rome - This is one of the more complicated card games, I’m still trying to wrap my head around playing it well, but it’s definitely fun! You each build your own buildings and try to come out on top! There are multiple ways to score points in this game, so it’s a challenge to choose which strategy to go with. It also makes the game fun though, because you never have to play it the same way twice!

Race for the Galaxy - This has always been one of my husband’s favorite games, but I’ll be honest, it took me awhile to get on board. I love the game now, but there’s definitely a steep learning curve to it, and it may take awhile before you really feel like you can play it well.

Carcassone - This was one of the first games we purchased together (about 4 years ago) and we’re still getting lots of enjoyment out of it! Carcassone is a tile-laying game, and it allows you to build cities, roads, farms and cloisters and connect them to one another to gain points. Very fun game, and it’s always neat to see all the scenery that you’ve built together at the end of the game!

Famiglia - Another card game, this time the cards represent different “mobster” families. Each color card allows you to do a different action, and thereby gain better cards into your “family”. It’s simple to learn, but there’s a surprising amount of strategy involved!

Pandemic - This game is unique because, instead of playing against one another, you are on a team against the game! It’s shockingly difficult and a lot of fun to get to work together in a game instead of having to compete. There’s also nothing quite like trying to save the world from multiple viruses! You really feel like you’ve accomplished something awesome together when you win this game!

Tigris & Euphrates - This game is truly one of our favorites. It has a longer play-time than most, but it’s definitely worth the time! You play on one board and build your own little kingdoms by laying tiles of various colors. You are then able to join kingdoms or invade one another, and gain points. It’s a very interesting game, especially since you don’t know how many points the other player has earned until the end of the game!

Suburbia - This is one of our newer games. It’s also a tile laying game, but instead of building farms or roads you create buildings for your city. The strategy is in which tiles you put where, as well as which tiles you choose to build. We only purchased this one a few weeks ago but it’s already a favorite!

Agricola - Remember that popular Farming game on Facebook awhile back? This is a game that is very similar, but with lots more strategy! You are a farmer, and you must build your hut, farm your land, raise cattle and feed your family! It’s a very interesting game and quite the challenge!

Zertz, Yinsh & Dvonn - These games are more abstract than the others I’ve listed. Instead of having a theme or story to them, they are pure strategy (like chess or checkers, but more fun). These games can be bought separately and played as a single game, or can be combined with a couple other games in the series to form a huge tournament. We currently own two in the series and are working our way up to have the whole collection. They are quicker games and deceptively difficult!

I’ve created a list on amazon with all of the games, so you can find them easily, instead of needing to do multiple searches. This is an affiliate link to my 2 player games list on Amazon.

These are our absolute favorite 2 player games! Have you ever heard of any of them? Share with us on the Happy Wives Club Facebook page.

We’d love to hear about your favorites!

Listening Night

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You know the old saying “opposites attract”? In many ways, that was true for my husband and I. While we certainly have our similarities, there are many ways in which we are opposite.

My husband, for example is and extrovert and kind of a genius. He taught himself to read Greek in less than a year, and his idea of a relaxing afternoon is studying his tremendously thick C++ computer programming book.

I’m an introvert that would rather spend my time working on my blog, writing books or reading a young adult novel. And for the record, I can’t understand computer programming to save my own life.

Needless to say, sometimes each of us are more than a little bit bored by the other’s interests.

My husband can drone on for hours about the intricacies of his latest computer program that he’s designing. Not a topic I’m particularly interested in, but then we also have the times when I’m babbling non-stop about blog stats or social media algorithms and he’s as lost in that conversation as I am when he discusses Greek with me!

That’s why listening night, is important to us. And no, we don’t call it that, it’s nothing official, it’s just taking the time, to really, truly listen.

Usually when my husband jabbers on about something I don’t understand I give a half-hearted “mmmhmmm” and move on to something else. It’s okay, because he gives me a tired “that’s great honey” when I talk about my blog and after a bit he tends to change the topic too. We both understand, because these aren’t our shared passions, and they don’t have to be.

But sometimes, it’s still good to take the time to truly listen. To ask questions and do your best to comprehend the other’s interests. Even when they are completely beyond your realm of understanding, like my husband’s are to me.

When I do this it’s my way of saying “I love you” to him in that moment, as I try to understand whatever has his smart brain intrigued for today. I hear the “love you” back from him as he grins and cheers with me when I break a blogging milestone or tell him about a novel that had me in tears.

Listening night doesn’t have to be something official, (although it can be). It’s just the simple decision to put aside phones, and switch off the tv, to look each other in the eye and truly try to understand what your spouse is fascinated with, even when it doesn’t also fascinate you.

Comment Below: When was the last time you and your hubby had a listening night? Do you have opposite hobbies like we do, or are all of your interests similar?

The Date Night Dilemma

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Do you wrestle with the date night dilemma?

Because sometimes, for one reason or another, the traditional “date night” out at a restaurant, or to see a movie, is just not possible.

Maybe you don’t have it in the budget, or you are choosing to save your money for something else.

Perhaps your children are keeping you from being able to go out as often as you once did.

Maybe you or your spouse are one of the people that don’t like the phrase “date night” being used, after marriage. All of these things are perfectly fine, and normal!

I will let you in on a little secret today; It doesn’t matter what you are doing, it matters who you are doing it with.

What is most important is not the title that you put on your evening or the extravagant restaurants that you visit. What matters is that you and your spouse regularly take time to deepen and grow your relationship.

That could mean dinner and a movie out on the town, or it could be the way you talk and laugh as you cook dinner together each night.

Maybe for you, it’s sitting playing board games together or lying in bed talking for awhile before you drift off to sleep.

It doesn’t always have to be scheduled, and babysitters are not always required. All that’s really needed is the two of you spending time connecting, however that works in your marriage.

So don’t feel guilty if you can’t squeeze in that romantic candle lit dinner for 2 at your favorite restaurant. Instead, spend time connecting with your spouse in all the little (and big) chances that you do get throughout your time at home, and watch your relationship blossom.

Do not let the logistics of date night become a point of contention in your marriage. Do what works for the two of you, and call it what you will.

5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong Through Crazy Work Schedules

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If only we could figure out a way to keep life and crazy work schedules from impacting our fabulous marriages, we’d be golden!

Unfortunately, the reality is if we don’t figure out how to manage our work schedules, they will quickly manage us.

This guest post by the always wonderful Paula Rollo can help whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, businesswoman or a combination of them both.

When workloads begin to encroach on your marriage and time with one another, feel free to push back and say, “Not in this house,”

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

____________

It can be tough to connect when one or both of you are working extra long hours.

My husband has had a crazy work schedule for most of our marriage, and so we’ve learned some important lessons along the way about how to thrive in a marriage when your time together is minimal.

At some points during our marriage we had conflicting work schedules, and other times my husband was working 55+ hours a week while I stayed home with the kids and even started working from home.

Our schedules are still subject to change, because of the industry my husband works in, but we’ve got a much better handle on how to keep our relationship thriving, even when our time together is not as much as we would like for it to be.

5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong Through Crazy Work Schedules

1. Maximize the Time You Have Together - Don’t spend your time together lamenting that you don’t have more time! Instead, find fun things that create conversation and a relaxing atmosphere for you and your spouse! We try to have a game night at least once a week. This allows us to have fun and spend time chatting while doing something relaxing and entertaining for both of us. (I wrote about our favorite 2 player board games here if you want to check it out!)

2. Remember, It’s Only a Season – Even if it is a very long season, it is still just a season! Like I mentioned above, my husband has worked very long hours and had an unpredictable work schedule for most of our marriage. It is so easy to get frustrated with the scheduling during this season of life, but when I find myself getting upset I like to stop and remind myself this is just a season.

Four years with a difficult schedule is a long time for us, because we’ve only been married for 5 years and we’re only 23 years old (for those doing the math, yes, we did get married when we were just 18!). When I gauge the length of this season by those standards, it seems very long. BUT when I consider the “forever” that I have to spend with my spouse, picturing 4 years of wonky scheduling doesn’t seem like so long when compared with 70 years of marriage together! It’s all about the perspective.

3. Don’t Take Tiredness Personally – I remember for a long time I would get offended if my husband came home from work and went to sleep straight after dinner. Sometimes, he would even fall asleep in the middle of me talking to him. This was tough for me to handle as a new wife, but then one night, we were lying in bed talking, he fell asleep in the middle of one of HIS sentences. Right then I realized, he’s just tired.

I learned that it doesn’t mean he’s bored of me, or doesn’t enjoy my company. It simply means he’s worked for 14+ hours straight today and he needs his sleep. Learning to understand that his tiredness had nothing to do with me, enabled me to be a much more gracious wife!

4. ‘Thank You’ Goes a Long Way – Remember to thank each other for working so hard. I can speak from experience that it can be rough running everything at home, but remember to thank him for all the work that he is doing to provide for the family. It’s a simple thing, but “thank you” can do a lot to encourage him after a long day of work.

5. Brainstorm Together – If the schedule is really not working for either of you, spend some time brainstorming together to see if you can come up with another way to make ends meet that wouldn’t be so difficult on one or both of you. Sometimes, even just exploring your options and figuring out that you are currently doing the best thing for your family, can help encourage each of you to keep going when the schedule gets tough!

How do you keep your relationship strong even when the work hours are not ideal? Share your tips in the comments!

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Christmas Date Night

All you need is:

Your car (unless you are willing to walk in the cold!)
Mugs of Hot Chocolate
A Notebook
Each other!

Whip up some hot chocolate and go for a drive (or walk) together. Find the fanciest neighborhoods in your town and look at the beautiful light displays that they have in their yards.

Try to find the most extravagant decorations and come up with awards for the houses based on their decorating charm, or beauty, or even cheesiness!

“Most Traditional” or “Master of the Inflatable Machine” etc. Be sure to take notes on which houses are receiving what title so you don’t duplicate an award.

Have fun getting creative with the titles!!!

If you want to add a bit of competitive fun, you could try seeing who can spot the most Santas or snowmen, or even make it a “double date” with another couple, competing to see which husband & wife team can find the most exciting lights throughout the night.

This is sure to be a fun date night that you will not soon forget!

Another First Date

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Can you still remember the first date or outing that you and your husband shared? The excitement, the butterflies, nervousness and maybe even a bit of awkwardness.

This fun little date night idea will help you reminisce on those old memories. All you have to do is think about your first date and try to recreate it. Eat at the same restaurant, visit the same places, or watch the same movie (at home). You could even try to wear similar clothing or take photos in the same places that you did so many years ago.

Recreating the first date can be a super fun and romantic way to celebrate anniversary milestones, or just to revisit old memories together! It’s the perfect time to think about how far your relationship has come, since that first butterfly-filled evening together.

My husband and I did this on the 2 year anniversary of the day we met. We first talked inside a Starbucks, so we went back, 2 years later, sat in the same spot, and talked about how much had changed in just 2 short years.

This time we were married, and even had our newborn son with us! It was a bit surreal as we realized that just 2 years earlier we had sat there, getting to know each other, talking about our dreams. We had no idea that we would one day be there again, together, married for almost 2 years (for those doing the math, yes, we got married 35 days after we met), with our son next to us, and endless love between us.

On that first unofficial date that started it all, we never would have guessed that we would end up happy and in love, but we did.

Recreating special moments is such a romantic way to reminisce and it is a beautiful way to build new memories together.

Where did you and your husband share your first date? How can you re-create that day?

5 Quick Ways to Revive Those Butterflies

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I love every time Paula writes a post for this site. She loves her hubby, adores her babies and is working daily to create her happily ever after.

Her post reminded me of something I haven’t done in several months…add to my Why I Love My Husband Never-Ending List. Thanks, Paula! I think I’ll get started on that again.

Until tomorrow…make it a great day!

___________

Have you ever been told that, the butterflies that you felt in the the beginning stages of your relationship, will disappear when a marriage has fully matured?

That the butterflies will fly away, as they are replaced with things like deeper trust and maturity.

I’ve heard this many times before and although I disagree, I can understand where this thought process is coming from; relationships do evolve.

My heart doesn’t always stop when my hand unintentionally brushes my husband’s throughout the day. When I hear his voice, my stomach doesn’t always leap into my chest, the way it once did.

Things are different now, and being together can start to seem ordinary instead of exciting.

But I still believe in butterflies.

The butterflies are always there. But sometimes, you have to work to make them flutter.

So, how do you get the butterflies going, even after years of marriage? It’s easier than you might think. Here are 5 quick ways to revive those butterflies!

Listen to Your Favorite Love Song – Songs can move our emotions like nothing else. They transport us into a time and space long ago and bring the feelings forward to the present moment. So turn down the lights and enjoy your favorite song together. Let the memories overtake you, and watch the butterflies do their thing.
Dress Up and Go Out – There is something special about getting all fancied up and spending a care-free night out of the house together. (psssst….here are a few ways to save money on date night)
Kiss -I mean really kiss! *wink wink* 15 seconds a day can change your marriage…no really.
Find Joy in the Ordinary - This is a lesson I’m still learning. Taking the time to notice all the tiny but wonderful things your spouse does every day. There are a thousand tiny reasons you fell in love with him, take the time to see those things in your everyday life, and those butterflies will go crazy!
Make a List – Do you remember when Fawn started the Never-ending “Why I love my husband list“? I loved that idea then, and I still love it now! Take time to sit down and write out all the fabulous, cute and sweet things you love about your hubby. It’s virtually impossible not to feel butterflies when you do this!

After a few years, it can take some effort to get the butterflies going again, but it is totally worth it! Maturity does not have to mean lack of flirtatious fun and butterflies! That sweet, giddy feeling can last a lifetime, if we are willing to put in the extra effort to keep having fun and falling in love every day!

QUESTION: So what about you? What makes your butterflies flutter?

JOIN THE 1,000,000 MEMBER CHALLENGE: If you haven’t already done it, what are you waiting for? Join the club! It takes only a few seconds and, of course, is free.

MARRIAGE MONDAYS Link Up Party: Bloggers, join us here every third Monday of the month for our fabulous link-up party! Join us August 19th for our next Marriage Mondays!

Virtual Vacation – How to Have a Romantic Vacation When You Can’t “Get Away”

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I came up with this date night idea last year when we found out we wouldn’t be able to go on any trips that summer.

My husband got off work one night, and I invited him to go on a virtual vacation with me. He was definitely skeptical at first, but he ended up loving it! He still talks about how much fun it was over a year later!

Wondering how to go on a Virtual Vacay? It’s simple! All you need is a computer, or another way to go online, and a bit of creativity!

This is how it works: You and your spouse pick out your dream vacation spot. The place you would go if money and time were not an issue.

Then, get to work searching online for sightseeing tours, fancy restaurants, hiking activities or anything else you would want to do while on vacation.

Plan out your ideal trip, and share photos with one another of the types of things you’d be seeing if you were on the trip together. Google Images works great for this.

My husband and I had a fun time competing with each other to find the prettiest view and the biggest animals!

This is a great way to “see the world” without worrying about job commitments, childcare, or finances! Since you won’t really be going on the trip, you are free to get as extravagant as possible with the planning, and have fun exploring travel options that might not normally be available to you.

You can write out your plans and tuck them away as a “someday” trip, or just keep them in a binder and record all your virtual travels together in one place.

This is one of our favorite date nights, and one of the easiest to do together!

If you are unable to take a trip this year, or just want to have some extra fun planning a virtual romantic getaway, then this is the perfect date for you!

The freedom is exhilarating, there are no restrictions based on strength, fears, money or time. Just fun, imagination, and a whole lot of romance!

Happy Dating!!!

P.S. If you are looking for ideas, you can read all about our first Virtual Vacation here!

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About Paula Rollo

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